I like working with
independent professionals and artists because of the way the work life balance
shows itself in our lives - for us, life, work, and business exist in a nexus
from which we cannot easily extract our ways of loving, relating, and making
meaning. The challenges we face in business inform our personal lives and
personal challenges affect our businesses.
Rich as it is, the
relationship between personal and professional life can be rocky and maintaining
that work life balance is often a tricky issue. I experienced this before when,
within a few weeks of declaring some new goals for my business, my wife lost her
job unexpectedly followed my my daughter needing surgery just a few days later.
If this wasn’t bad enough, a job that I was doing on a major client’s
personal items messed up due to a material flaw in the product he purchased,
but, though it was on him, he decided to discontinue our working relationship.
All of these factored together to lead to a personal melt down.
The problem was that
I felt like a loser. I enjoyed the work that I did with this client and I
couldn’t get out of the funk. Before I knew it, we were looking bankruptcy in
the eye and didn’t know what we could do other than give up.
I've been caught
between the promptings of my spirit and the requirements of my business more
than a few times, and I knew all sorts of success formulas, but none of them
seemed to help. I also knew it was possible to take care of ourselves and our
businesses if we are willing to do the work, but I couldn’t shake the funk and
it led to a deep depression.
We lost our house,
one of the cars and had to move to the other side of the state; we had to borrow
money from family just to get settled, but my wife had gotten a new job and I
was able to reestablish my business in a better location and things finally
started getting back to a level that I could see a light.
As Les Brown once
said, “When you fall down, always land on your back. That way you can
always be looking up no matter how low you fall.”
Here are nine
strategies that, taken together, can help to change course without abandoning
the destination and help you restore your work life balance:
1. Don't panic.
Even if you feel
panicky, you can choose modest, recoverable steps to address the situation. This
is no time to get a divorce, fire an employee, or buy a new computer system.
Tip: Talk with a coach or therapist to get perspective.
2. Return to Source.
Whatever your
spiritual orientation or tradition, connect with what for you is the Source of
life or spirit. Know that there is something larger than you that encompass you.
Spend at least 15 minutes each day connecting with that Source. (I like Mark
Silver's Remembrance Practice described in his free downloadable workbook
Getting to the Core of Your Business.)
3. Take a body
inventory.
Are you sleeping
well? How are you eating? What's your energy level? If these are not up to par,
get a professional evaluation and take the steps that will restore your
well-being.
4. Tell the truth.
Sometimes energy
flags when we've gotten into a pattern of pleasing others or living according to
standards that are not our own. Notice if there is any misbalance. Notice where
you're being less than forthright with yourself and get clear about your
motives, then clean it up.
5. Keep good company.
Are you stimulated
and encouraged by your peers and clients? Do you have great playmates? Playing
on the wrong playground with the wrong kids is neither fun nor productive.
6. Tune Up Your
Thinking.
There's substantial
evidence that managing the way we think can have a profound and lasting effect
on mood and motivation. See Amazon.com for books you can use to tune up your
cognitive skills and/or make a date with a therapist. (If you are otherwise in
good psychological health a skilled coach can help, too.)
7. Set Healthy,
Flexible Boundaries.
Yes, real life and
real business are intimately connected, but that doesn't mean that you need to
give up your privacy. To find your work life balance, set boundaries so that you
can feel generous without feeling depleted and available without feeling
invaded. Keep them flexible, because things change.
8. Create or Refine
Systems.
We can't manage real
life and a real business without good systems. Look at where things feel most
out of sorts and resolve to create or improve a system to get things on track.
9. Keep the Goal,
Drop the Plan.
Sometimes the best
way to achieve a goal is to let go of our plans. Promptly and clearly revise
commitments and offers as necessary to bring current activity in line with
current resources. Why abandon ship when you can drop anchor while you make some
repairs?
For me, these
strategies led me to go past what I was doing and concentrate on this dream that
I had to help others get out of the rat race and make a legacy that the future
will benefit from. Having stopped the war between myself and my business and
realizing that there was more to me than my work, I was able to restore my work
life balance and now feel more engaged with the things that I choose to take on
(like writing this blog and creating a training program.) My goals have went
from safe to audacious and are now shining possibilities instead of looming
obligations, and if it takes a little longer to reach them, arriving will be all
the sweeter.
In 2016, make it a
goal to balance your life.
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