“The trouble with the rat race is that, even if you win, you're still a
rat” ~ Lily Tomlin ~
There was a time,
in the not-so-distant past, when families were expected to give up everything in
order to achieve the financial security they craved. Perhaps you remember those
decades, perhaps you are too young to recall those times.
Those were the
days when climbing the corporate ladder was a revered activity, and wives and
children gazed fondly at pictures of the breadwinner in order to remember
whether poor, exhausted Dad had blue eyes or brown.
Large companies
moved employees from one city to another, like pawns on a chessboard and, if you
had any hope of climbing the ladder toward upper management positions, you
packed up the wife and kids and moved on from Chicago, to Boston, to New York,
to Tokyo.
In the intervening
years, the divorce rate climbed, fathers lost touch with their families and died
of heart attacks and strokes at an alarming rate. When these men retired, they
felt useless and unproductive.
Over the years,
the identity of these men had become inextricably tied to their success on the
job. New retirees found themselves wondering who they were, and why they were
living with women who were complete strangers to them. And, whatever happened to
those darling kids who used to live in the house?
Then women entered
the workforce in earnest and joined in on this wonderful rat race.
Now, you obviously
can look around in your own situation and see that this rat race has not come to
an end, just look at the amount of stress related death and illness, an increase
in the average number of hours worked by employees in the U.S. and around the
world, skyrocketing numbers of divorces and children in single-parent families.
And, let's not
forget about those who are responsible for the care of aging parents. We live in
a world of conveniences that were designed to give us more leisure time. But, it
would seem that all the informational overload, whirring computers and media
blitz has given us is more time for work.
It is not unusual
for men and women to work sixty or seventy hours per week on average. Some of us
work eighty or ninety hours without batting an eyelash. And, we fool ourselves
into thinking we have a life!
If you are one of
the enlightened few, you have already come to the conclusion that giving up a
social and family life is too great a price to pay for career success.
Maybe, you have
stress related health problems, perhaps you are not eating right, and you are
probably fighting with your spouse, boyfriend or best buddy because you spend
too little time with the people you care about most.
You probably
can’t find the time to return phone calls or send a birthday card to your Aunt
Betty.
It doesn’t
matter if you are a lineman for a utility company, a pizza delivery girl, a
corporate executive or an aspiring dancer.
In today’s
chaotic world, it is a safe bet that you don’t have enough time for work,
family and friends. And, since your boss holds a tight rein on your paycheck, it
is likely that
You Are NOT Alone!
“The be-all and end-all of life should not be to get rich, but to
enrich the world” ~ B.C. Forbes ~
Did you know that
the Society for Human Resource Management has reported that 76% of
American workers are considering looking for another job and, further that they
estimate there will be 22 million new jobs created over the next ten years, but
only 17 million new workers available to fill these jobs?
While every
generation of workers has a different set of work expectations, the desire for
work/life balance has become one of the foremost goals of every generation in
the workforce today.
Baby Boomers are
reducing work hours and many ‘Thirty-Somethings’ are starting their own
businesses in order to have more control over their lives and schedules.
A recent study
done by the Families and
Work Institute illustrates
that young workers just starting out in the workforce are choosing to turn down
promotional opportunities to achieve greater work/life balance.
Why do you
suppose these apple-cheeked, enthusiastic job entrants might take this approach?
In a study done with young employees by Families and Workplace, work/life
balance was among the top for both genders.
Most of these
young adults were raised in families where both parents worked and they
experienced the sacrifice and demands placed upon their parents, firsthand.
Not surprisingly,
of all the generations in the workforce today, these young adults are the most
likely to consider job flexibility and schedules when they look for a job, and
it is key to employee retention for companies that employ these young workforce.
The point of all
of this background information is to let you know that you are not alone in your
desire to find balance.
All generations
in all types of jobs are today, looking for balance, less stress, and more time
with family and friends. Like you, these people are willing to give it their all
when they are at work and they expect to work hard, but in exchange, they want a
life.
In essence, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
If you think that
work and family life balance is a small problem, you may be interested to know
that, in addition to the few companies that have recognized the issue and taken
the lead in establishing life balance programs, there are numerous
organizations, foundations, universities and groups doing research on this
topic.
Organizations as
diverse as religious groups, government agencies, human resource companies and
behavioral scientists now study these issues and, not just because it is the
right thing to do.
There are real
economic advantages to companies that recognize the need for life balance and
create a working environment to help their employees live their lives more
fully.
Companies spend a
lot of money training and keeping employees and happy employees will stay
longer, live longer and contribute to the company longer.
But, we are just
scratching the surface in understanding the true human toll that an unbalanced
life takes. Many have studied the evolving societal issues and their roots in
overwork and lost community connections.
If you WANT more
balance in your life but you wonder whether it is all that important, let’s
talk about the reasons you NEED this balance.
“We are coming to understand health not as the absence of disease, but
rather as the process by which individuals maintain their sense of coherence
(i.e. sense that life is comprehensible, manageable, and meaningful) and ability
to function in the face of changes in themselves and their relationships with
their environment” ~ Aaron Antonovsky ~
Health – Living
an unbalanced life where work dominates can significantly affect your health.
Long or stressful work hours can cause problems with your heart, your blood
pressure, and your sleep cycles.
Studies show a
significant increase in heart attack and stroke since the advent of seventy-hour
workweeks. Long hours at work and lots of work related travel also encourages
poor diet and leaves little time for exercise.
As we become more
out of shape, sleep less and experience health problems, we are no longer the
powerful asset to our employers, nor can we participate fully in a family and
social life.
Emotional Wellness
– Your ability to give back to your family, friends and community, and your
own emotional stability depends on a balanced life.
As overly dramatic
as it sounds, you are likely to experience emotional problems, need counseling
and suffer from anxiety attacks or other problems if you have no time to
decompress and relax.
There are numerous
scientific studies on the benefits of relaxation, recreation and meditation.
And these benefits are both physical and emotional.
You can’t be
ready to take on the issues in your family, support your spouse, parents,
siblings and children and your friends if you have no emotional stamina.
If you’ve spent
all of your focus and attention on work and you find yourself so tired at the
end of the day that you don’t even want to talk to your family, you have a
problem. And your family may not wait around for you to resolve it!
The societal
impact of ‘all work and no play’ has damaged and destroyed many a family and
the divorce rate continues to climb. Children grow up barely knowing their
parents because they are away at work all the time.
Family vacations
are a thing of the past in many families. Vacations get postponed and many
employees find themselves losing their accrued vacation time because they have
‘rolled it over’ for so many years and just NOT taken the vacation they
deserved.
Your emotional
reserves are depleted. You have no patience with yourself or others. You are
short on sleep and even on time to think about what you want for dinner.
Is it any wonder
that psychologists and psychiatrists are busier than ever?
Stress - We
have talked about the health implications related to ‘all work and no play’
but stress is its own health factor.
Even if you like
your job, if you have no time for anything else, stress will get you eventually.
We’ll talk more
about stress later and you’ll get some tips on how to eliminate or mitigate
stress so that your body and mind will be better able to handle whatever comes
your way.
For now, what you
need to understand is that stress can affect your physical and emotional health
and that, over time, it can make you very sick. If you are not in a position to
change jobs or otherwise make a major change to relieve stress, learn how to
handle it better.
We’re not
talking about taking five years of classes here. We are talking about simple
techniques you can use to help balance your life.
Remember that
work/life balance is not just a question of the hours you spend in one place or
another. It is also a question of how balanced you feel and how you react to
things.
No matter how much
time you have with your family and friends, you will enjoy it more if you are
able to balance YOURSELF.
If you can become
less of a victim of stress and overwork and take control of your own reaction to
stress, you will live longer and be happier at work and at home.
Family and
Community – Government and
university studies support the idea that the ‘all work and no play’
lifestyle contributes to divorce, dysfunction in the family, and lack of
involvement and investment in the community and neighborhood.
As the community
grows apart and neighbors become strangers, emotional and family support for
things like childcare, help with aging parents and support following trauma and
tragedy become real issues.
The community
turns to the government to supply services to fill this gap, taxes rise and
people remain strangers.
Families struggle
with alternating schedules, and children fail to thrive emotionally and
physically.
Divorce is rampant
and single parents are under even more stress with even less time to pay
attention to children. So, things deteriorate even more!
Role models for
marriage, relationships and juggling time and family are important to a
child’s adult relationships. If we do not provide those positive role models,
we perpetuate the problem.
It is interesting
to note that the generation of children now in the work force has started to
rebel against jobs and employers that require ridiculous hours and dedication
beyond the call of duty.
They understand
the toll this type of career takes on a life. They grew up in families that
suffered this impact.
Perhaps our
greatest hope for change lies in this generation of seasoned veterans of
dysfunctional families.
Productivity
– If your employer
believes that your eighty-hour workweek is giving him more benefit, he should
look at the statistics and information gathered by human resource companies and
companies that focus on efficiency and productivity.
It is a fact that
the human brain needs downtime and rest and recreation to recycle. Think about
your own life and the times when you had to work long hours to get something
finished.
Perhaps you found
that you could barely focus after a certain number of hours. There is a reason
that coaches that teach good study habits tell students not to cram for
eighteen hours
before an exam, but rather to spread out the studying and mix in recreation.
Take a walk; talk
with friends to regain your clarity and focus.
If you and your
employer truly want to take the best advantage of your time, you need to take
time for yourself.
You will spend
less time reworking things you’ve done wrong, mistakes you’ve made and
details you’ve missed. And your employer will get better quality and output
regardless of your job.
Pilots are subject
to time constraints and can only spend so many hours in the air because airlines
learned a long time ago that a tired and overworked pilot could make critical
errors.
In lengthy heart
surgeries, surgeons take breaks and leave the operating room to clear their
heads and rest.
Again, these
habits and techniques were learned the hard way and only when critical mistakes
were made did these work policies change. You wouldn’t want a tired doctor
working on your open heart, would you?
Life Goals – Everyone
has goals. And you are probably no exceptions. You may have work and
career-related goals like promotions, expanded responsibilities, and recognition
as an expert in your industry.
These are all
fine, but be sure you don’t just focus on your job. Many people come to
identify their success in life by their position in their job and the
recognition they get there.
If they become
disabled or sick, or if they retire, they suddenly find that they don’t know
themselves anymore.
This post is
getting a little lengthy, so I will jump off now, check out the next entry in
this series on creating a balanced life and until then, here's to your success.
They have no
identity at work so they don’t know who they are. They may have lost family
and friends or have become strangers to these people, unaware of the important
events that happened at home while they were at work.
So, they have to
get to know themselves and their loved ones all over again. For some, this is an
impossible task.
Be sure you set
personal goals, family goals and general goals in your life for growth and
happiness.
Whether it is
going on for a Masters Degree in the fine art you love, learning how to fly a
plane, or playing the piano, you should have goals that keep you involved in
other parts of your life.
While you are
setting goals, don’t forget your family goals. Perhaps you have always wanted
to take your wife to Hawaii. Set the goal and a timetable and do it!
Remember that life
goals can include giving back to the community and to others.
It is interesting
to note that, since so many people cannot achieve their personal goals because
of career obligations, we now find it difficult to get baseball coaches to
volunteer their time, or to get people to volunteer in hospitals and work for
the community as a volunteer ambulance driver or firefighter.
