St. Valentines from a recovering romantic

Disclaimer:  I know, you are asking yourself why I would be writing an article like this. I seem to be stepping out of my area of expertise. The reason for this is because I know from personal experience that anyone in business, who is married or in a long term relationship, will be significantly and directly affected in all areas of their life by how that relationship is going, and how healthy that relationship is. I

You hear the phrase, “ never mix business with personal” but there is really no getting around it. Too often we let our work life interfere with our personal life and this causes issues. If you are currently experiencing problems with your relationships at home, take some advice from…

A Recovering Unromantic

Research has proven that those who are happy at home are more productive and less stressed out on the job. When we develop a better relationship with our mate or significant other, it will help you develop a happier life and a better business. I have some nuggets of truth for you to chew on to help develop a strong and healthy relationship and rekindle some of the romance that may have gotten laid aside over the years.

• Be a Microphone, Not a Speaker or Stereo. Communication is the number one key to having a long-lasting relationship and listening is the part of communicating that most forget. More often that we would publicly admit, we either hog most of the conversation by talking to and over our mate the microphone), or we wait to speak, but instead of listening to what our mate is saying, and understanding them, too often we are making mental notes of what we would like to say as soon as the opportunity to jump in comes about. Yes, we guys have more of an issue with this second one that the ladies, but there are quite a few of the female persuasion who have this issue as well.. We find ourselves looking for the weakness in our mate's argument or developing talking points from the words being said that will allow us to redirect the conversation to something that we want to talk about more. We are listening to the sentence structures instead of what they are saying and the manner in which they're saying it.

Take some time this week and try to really listen to and understand what your mate is saying and feeling?

• “No Work On the Brain” Date Night. I have found that this was one of the most difficult things to do. In today’s society, with work, family, friends, it is too easy to put our relationships on the back burner and take time just for each other. This is really difficult when children are entered into the equation. While we might have every intention of blocking out a regular time to spend quality time with our mate, we often find ourselves driven by a schedule that doesn’t leave room for the “us time” because the day planner seems to set us on a non-stop coarse in every direction and leaves the “us time” on the backburner to simmer, which often leads to it cooling down. We must realize the importance of our relationship with our mate and the effect that it has on our life as a whole. It is a priority that we make spending time with our mate a top of the list goal by scheduling a specific time every day to just talk, at least once a week to get alone together, talk, and simply relax in each other’s company with no distractions. Once a month, there needs to be a date night completely away from anything that distracts you from being in the moment and concentrating on your mate. Pencil…NO, INK it into your schedule and don't change it for anything except, of course a life or death situation. Sit down with your mate and decide what nights will work each and every week, and then put it into both of your day planners. If someone asks you if you're available at that time, you tell him or her you already have an obligation that can’t be changed. In the long run, you will find that this time with your mate will help you to become more of a success than you could have ever foreseen.
• Consider your mate's interests more important than your own. When each person has decided to give of themselves to the other, you form a reciprocating relationship of love, concern, and devotion. When you come to a place where you disagree or where the two of you have differing opinions, try to get to the point where you can consider what your mate likes as more important then what you would like to do. The simple decision to do this goes a long way toward developing a healthy relationship!
• Learn your mate's love language. There is a lot of talk about love languages. What this is, is that each individual has certain ways they receive love from other people. Some people like to have time spent with them. Others like gifts, small or large. Still others respond best to personal touch. And others appreciate verbal affirmation. Some like be loved by act service. Our tendency is to show love the way that we like to receive love, but what will recharge our relationship fastest is to find out what way our mate likes to receive affirmations of our love. The next time you get a chance to speak to your mate, ask them which of the above ways they like best to receive your demonstration of love. Then make a conscious effort to begin showing your love to them in that manner.
• Do the small things you did when you first fell in love with your mate. Do remember when you were first in love? Remember the small things you did show your love to your mate? But as time went along, you probably began to get weighed down with simply living life and forgot the small things that made the difference in the beginning. Things like a phone call in the middle of the day just to talk or say "I love you," an appreciative note, flowers, gifts, and opening doors. Re-charge your relationship by consciously going back and doing the small things that you did when your love first began to grow.
• Forgive. I've done a lot of work with couples were having troubles, and one of the most common elements I find that is working against the development of their relationship is that they are holding something against the other and they aren't willing to forgive. The fact is that your mate is going to fail you from time to time. We need to understand that. What we do when we get to that point however, is what will make all the difference in the world. In a relationship that is going to last, the people involved are committed to forgiving one another. Those who's relationships last longest, and will be the healthiest, are those who are committed to forgiveness.

I hope these thoughts are helpful to you in recharging your love relationship. I truly believe that if we will put these principles into practice we will see our relationships grow in ways they never have before, and that in turn will make our whole life better.

Make it a GREAT day!