Let Go of the Guilt

 

I know, you are probably looking at the title and wondering how this has anything to do with success, but trust me, we all grow up with levels of guilt when it comes to having more or being better than someone else. In today’s society, there seems to be a rule of thought that everyone should be equal and no one should be better off than someone else. That is, of course, “stinin’ thinking” as Zig Ziglar used to put it. It also plays into the scarcity mindset which so many of us grow up with that keeps us bound in the golden handcuffs of a paycheck to paycheck mentality.

 

Now you are probably saying to yourself, “Huh? What is he talking about?” I know, trust me, all too well. I didn’t think I had any guilt about success until I looked back and saw so many times that there were areas that I sabotaged my success subconsciously.

 

Guilt is among the biggest wastes of our emotional energy. It causes us to get trapped in the present by over-concentrating on the past. Guilt, at times, can be very draining. By introducing logic to help counter-balance the guilt, you are able to avoid undermining your efforts toward a successful life and stay on course.

 

Feelings of guilt may not be gotten rid of over night, but they don't have to command your life. By following the steps provided, you can work towards freeing yourself from the guilt in your life that may be holding you back.

 

Pinpoint precisely what you feel guilty about. Your guilt might be telling you that there's something you need to alter in your life. For example, if you are trying to lose weight and know that if you go to a buffet you won’t control yourself and then a friend invites you to a buffet. You may feel guilty about saying no to the invitation, and then you end up going, overeating and then feeling bad about ‘ruining’ your diet. You may find that silly, but that actually happened to me. Or maybe your child wants that latest toy/videogame/whatever, but you have set yourself up on a specific budget in order to pay down debt; the child ‘guilts’ you into foregoing the budget for their newest whatever only to not play with it once they have it. Again (with hand held high) that was something that I dealt with.

 

Guilt comes in many subtle and not-so-subtle packages. The point is to see them, and do what it takes to overcome these guilts. As in the two examples above, most of those types of situations can be handled with a few boundaries that we will get into on a later blog, but for now, lets work on some steps to help you identify and work toward eliminating guilt in your life.

 

Look intimately at your priorities. Make a list of what is all-important for the health and happiness of you, your loved ones and your business. For example, what is significant to your loved ones might not matter to other families and the other way around. It holds true in every aspect of your life. Be strong with your priorities.

 

Construct more time for your priorities. First thing is to know and acknowledge that you can't do everything, so if it is not on your success list then get in the habit of saying "No." The word No can, and will, be your biggest ally. At first you will feel guilty about saying it, but in moderation a little guilt now can save a lot of guilt later.

 

Live in the here and now; any errors in judgment made in the past because of guilt are over and done with. Sometimes, the guilt we feel now that keeps up from moving forward is guilt of the past. Forgive yourself for your errors, learn from them and leave them in the past tense.

 

Determine limits. As a parent you're responsible for the well-being of your children and you set boundaries for them, but you need to do the same for every aspect of your life if you are to be successful.

 

One final thought that is important is to adopt time for yourself. Even though it might seem inconceivable to find the time, if you're debilitated emotionally or physically then you have nothing to give to those around you. Don’t feel guilty for taking some time out for yourself because in the long run, when you have time to recharge, you have that energy to invest in those around you.

 

Guilt is usually subtle, so you have to really look for it sometimes, but when you recognize it and deal with it, you find that success is usually just on the other side of that guilt.

 

An action step for you to take is to do some internal dialog with yourself and see if there are any issues that you feel guilt over. Then analyze why you feel guilty about it. Sometimes the guilt is rational, but the initial reasons for the guilt aren’t.

 

From guilt to success, Click Here!

Power Question:

On a scale from 1 to 10, how excited are you about change?