Anxiety And Stress Relief - Facing Life's Giants!

 

Yesterday was my daughter's birthday. This last year was a major season of change for all of us; new house,new job for my wife, new school for my daughter...it's safe to say that I have dealt with stress. Anyway, we wanted to make this birthday special for my daughter with all of the stress of the year, but the more we worked on it, the more ideas fell through. As stressful as it was, we came up with a game plan that gave her an enjoyable time as well as her friends.

I led in with that story to say this, life often takes on a David and Goliath feeling. Giants bearing down on you, taunting you, making you feel small.  Enormous footsteps shaking the very foundations of your life bringing stress and anxiety.  Relief from these problems can often seem to be, not only out of reach, but also out of sight.  When bills pile up, family demands are overwhelming, your tasks in hand get out of hand and calamity and tragedy fill the headlines of your news feeds.

 

What do you do when stress giants come into your life?  Who do you turn to for help?  The fact it is you are not alone there is somebody who can help.  There are people you can turn to for support, advice and assistance.  You do not have to face these stressors alone in silence.  If you need help to over come life's problems and are looking for stress relief try one of these:

 

·           Family

·            Friends

·            Counselors

·            Pastors

·           Self-help books

·           Self-help CDs

 

How about calling your regular doctor for advice about stress relief?  Many people ignore or forget about these obvious support channels.  In fact, sharing our stress with someone who will support us should be on the top of our list when dealing with life’s stress.  When life's difficulties becomes too much and you are finding things bearing down on you to the point your stress is compounded by a feeling that you can’t take it anymore, then this is the time to share that burden with someone else.

 

Stress relief information and help should be sought in the same way as any other assistance.  If you broke your arm then you wouldn't think twice about seeking medical help, so you should treat your stress problems the same way. If you don’t have someone close to confide in, call your doctor, see a pastor, or make an appointment with a counselor.

 

It is possible that your stress and anxiety is bad enough that a doctor will prescribe medication to give you some relief, but most of the time, just getting off of your chest is enough to get you back in the game.

 

Make time for yourself

Another way to handle the giants is to step away and regroup. Everybody deserves (and needs) some time away.  Time for one’s self should not be considered an unnecessary luxury.  It is something that we all need.  Find something that you love doing, something that gives you pleasure and take the time to indulge yourself in it.  If your schedule is so overwhelming then start with ten minutes for yourself per day, your objective should be working towards one hour of time devoted to you per day with one day strictly for relaxation and not thinking about any of your stress giants.

 

Taking the time out for yourself does not mean that you are selfish and uncaring.  When people demand so much of you, it is easy to find your personal resources evaporating away and your ability to cope with your own personal stress will diminish.  To be able to give your best and work at your optimum level means that you need time devoted to yourself.

 

So, what are you going to do with this new time that you have devoted to yourself?  How will you use your "me time?"  Here are a few suggestions to help get you started relaxing and regrouping to face the giants another day:

 

·           Take a long relaxing walk

·           Take a long relaxing bath; light candles, burn incense

·           Read a fiction book

·           Write a poem or short story

·            Undertake some light exercise

·           Take up a new sport

·            Practice meditation

·           Enroll in a yoga class

·           Try listening to music

 

Whatever you do begin to enjoy life.  Live it to the fullest.  Consider each moment precious and know that you do have permission to step away from your giants for a short time to regroup; they will still be there tomorrow. Begin to experience life and don't just let it pass you by because you are spending too much time stressing on things.  Stress relief is attainable and within your grasp.  But you must make the effort to reach out and take it.

 

 

 

6 Bad Habits That Can Stifle Your Success

 

Too often, our habits control us and determine whether we succeed or not. It is imperative that we change out our bad habits for good disciplines. To do this, however, we must first identify those habits that are limiting our success.

 

False Limitations

 

Ask a writer for a great idea, and you’ll get a solution that involves words. Ask a designer for a great idea, and you’ll get a solution that involves visuals. Ask a blogger for a great idea, and you’ll get a solution that involves a blog.

 

We’re all a product of our experience. But the limitations we have are self-imposed. They are false limits. Only when you force yourself to look past what you know and feel comfortable with can you come up with the breakthrough ideas you’re looking for.

 

Be open to anything. Step outside your comfort zone. Consider how those in unrelated areas do what they do. What seems impossible today may seem surprisingly doable tomorrow.

 

If you recognize some of these problems in yourself, don’t fret. In fact, rejoice! Knowing what’s holding you back is the first step toward breaking down the barriers of creativity.

 

Lack of confidence

 

A certain level of uncertainly accompanies every creative act. A small measure of self-doubt is healthy.

 

However, you must have confidence in your abilities in order to create and carry out effective solutions to problems.

 

Much of this comes from experience, but confidence also comes from familiarity with how creativity works.

 

When you understand that ideas often seem crazy at first, that failure is just a learning experience, and that nothing is impossible, you are on your way to becoming more confident and more creative.

 

Instead of dividing the world into the possible and impossible, divide it into what you’ve tried and what you haven’t tried. There are a million pathways to success.

 

Information Overwhelm

 

It’s called “analysis paralysis,” the condition of spending so much time thinking about a problem and cramming your brain with so much information that you lose the ability to act.

 

It’s been said that information is to the brain what food is to the body. True enough. But just as you can overeat, you can also over think.

 

Every successful person I’ve ever met has the ability to know when to stop collecting information and start taking action. Many subscribe to the “ready – fire – aim” philosophy of business success, knowing that acting on a good plan today is better than waiting for a perfect plan tomorrow.

 

Fear of failure

 

Most people remember baseball legend Babe Ruth as one of the great hitters of all time, with a career record of 714 home runs.

 

However, he was also a master of the strike out. That’s because he always swung for home runs, not singles or doubles. Ruth either succeeded big or failed spectacularly.

 

No one wants to make mistakes or fail. But if you try too hard to avoid failure, you’ll also avoid success.

 

It has been said that to increase your success rate, you should aim to make more mistakes. In other words, take more chances and you’ll succeed more often.

 

Those few really great ideas you come up with will more than compensate for all the dumb mistakes you make.

 

Two Lines of Thought at Once

 

Like driving a car in first gear and reverse at the same time, it just can’t be done.

Likewise, you shouldn’t try to use different types of thinking at the same time. Just like in the transmission in your car going two directions at once, you’ll strip your mental transmission as well.

 

Creating means generating new ideas, visualizing, looking ahead, considering the possibilities.

 

Evaluating means analyzing and judging, picking apart ideas and sorting them into piles of good and bad, useful and useless.

 

These two types of thinking work together, but not at the same time without causing some issues; one will lock up the other.

 

Most people evaluate too soon and too often, and therefore create less. In order to create more and better ideas, you must separate creation from evaluation, coming up with lots of ideas first, and then judging the worth of each later.

 

Keep your ideas written down somewhere and visit them often. There are times when an idea will give birth to new ideas and even if you end up evaluating an idea as not working for you at that time doesn’t mean that it won’t work later.

 

Other People

 

Even if you have a wide-open mind and the ability to see what’s possible, most people around you will not. They will tell you in various, and often, subtle ways to conform, be sensible, and not rock the boat.

 

It’s like going crabbing on an Alaskan Sea Crab boat. They dump the crabs in a small box hold area that the crabs could get out of, but they don’t because just as soon as one starts to get up, others pull it back down.

 

The same holds true for people. There are those out there who find it easier to pull others down than to work on succeeding themselves.

 

Ignore them. The path to every victory is paved with predictions of failure. And once you have a big win under your belt, all the naysayers will shut their noise and see you for what you are — a creative force to be reckoned with.

 

Success is yours to grab, you just have to want it bad enough to overcome the limiting bad habits that keep you from getting it.

 

 

Leadership: Is It For You?

 So I received an email with this question;

"I recently been reading what you have been writing on leadership and had to ask, 'what if you don't think you are cut out to be a leader?' I mean I just want to improve my life, not be in charge of other people." ~Jamie

There are so many directions that I could go with this, but the topic intrigued me enough to write the following, so I hope that you are reading this Jamie.

Leadership is something that is fundamentally part of a society. It is necessary in any good society that someone stands up and takes charge. Leadership is essential, we know that, but does that mean everyone out there is a leader? The fact of the matter is that some individuals are not made to be leaders. They are followers. And just as important in society as leaders are followers. So, where do you lie? Are you going to play leadership roles within your life?

For many people, the instincts to take those leadership roles just come to them. It is just something that happens. They step up to the plate when needed. They respond first in class. They take charge of the baseball game on the playground. They step up to the plate on the job. While you cannot be first in every case, individuals that have leadership skills will often be seen and heard throughout their lives.

But, not all leaders are born with this talent. Many of them must learn it. People with an ambition to be a leader can do so by taking classes and studying the necessary skills that it takes to be a leader. While all of this may sound simple, it can be quite a task to learn. It is hard to teach a person to react in a situation that is not planned well.

Because leaders are determined by their actions, we often see that leadership roles are filled with individuals who put themselves out there to be chosen, so to speak. But, this is not always the case. In many cases of emergency, leaders are those that take charge long before anyone else reacts. In that, these individuals will have a cool head about themselves and be able to see the necessary work ahead while others are worrying, panicking or simply in shock. These are probably the true leaders in our society.

Many people assume that if someone is successful it is because they have good leadership skills. Some people assume that if a business is successful it is because it has good leaders. Leadership isn't something that is particularly easy to pass on to other people. Sometimes a company is successful because a past leader was very skilled as a leader and the current leader simply has kept things running the same as before.

Great leadership is a rare skill. For most people it doesn't come naturally. It is amazing how many organizations are successful even though they have only marginally competent people leading them. Many times this is because the structure of the organization helps make up for a leaders short comings. Sometimes it is because a particularly talented staff that makes up for the leaders deficiencies.

Any leadership development training should take into account some of the basic facts, which ought to be made available to the individual concerned for developing his leadership skill and techniques.

The training or program must adequately deal with deliberations on leadership, and not limit the understanding of the term to its limited sense. Any reference to conventional typecast leadership should be shunned. The training should also incorporate a comprehensive understanding of leadership virtues as applicable to individual requirements, and highlight the subtle differences between leadership and management.

The program should also take into account the attitude of people towards the individual qualities of the leader. It is imperative that leadership development training should be ideally structured in relation to the advancement of the individuals concerned, instead of looking for strengths in personal qualities.

While great leadership skills can make someone successful, the inverse is not true. Being successful doesn't make you a good leader. If you are looking for leaders to learn from make sure you are looking for people who actually have good leadership skills and not just someone who is successful. You can't assume that someone is a good leader just because they have had success. Many times people try to emulate people who have had success and try to follow their leadership styles. While this might be a good thing people often end up mimicking the bad habits of individuals.

The leadership development training also tries to make it clear that that collective requirements are of greater importance than individual necessities. Leadership development training tries to develop the quality of an individual to see a vision and look into the future, and develop his ambitions and aspirations.

One crucial virtue that such training emphasizes is that potential leaders should have the capability to see how details fit into the big picture. Such training also stresses the need to have the attitude that helps one to view things from the point of view of other individuals, and also able to comprehend in the proper manner the most suitable approach towards them.

 

For Jamie, and anyone else not thinking that they are leadership material, I suggest thatyou Click Here for more info on a series that has helped a lot of people see what true leadership and success is. Also read anything by Jim Rohn and you will never think the same way about yourself again.

Just Say NO

Answer this question honestly; is it difficult for you to say “no”?

If your answer is yes, don’t feel bad because you’re not alone.

There are many people who find themselves saying "yes" to things they don't really want to agree to but are afraid that they will appear selfish, mean or rude if they don’t say yes, or in an effort to avoid conflict or hurting another person’s feelings, they will say yes in order to defer conflict.

Saying “no” isn’t always easy, but it IS vital in business and personal life to be able to say no when the time comes.

Healthy people have healthy boundaries, and part of having healthy boundaries is to be able to say no to requests, situations or people that you can’t or don’t want to accommodate. Think of “no” as the hinge on the gate that controls who you allow in your boundary lines.

I was raised in an abusive environment where I spent many months at my grandmother’s house where I slept on a couch in the living room and my “dresser” was an old banana box next to my grandmother’s bed. If I ever had money, my grandmother, my uncle, my mother would all take it if they felt they needed it and never even asked, so I grew up with a low sense of self and had no concept of personal space or boundaries.

Though it has taken me many years to learn the art of saying no in order to stay sane, I still have issues with it at times, so don’t beat yourself up if you continue to have issues with it, just keep working on it and know that you will be a better person for it. Others will have more respect for you, you will have more respect for yourself and you won’t find yourself in as many negative situations.

Here are a few techniques/phrases that I have found work for me and hopefully they work for you as well.

#1: Unfortunately, I have a full plate right now…

If you find yourself way too busy to accommodate the person’s request, let them know you’re slammed and that you simply have no time to fit what they’re asking you to do into your schedule.

Many people have issue with this because they have a tendency to justify their time. Just because you have the time doesn’t mean that you have the time to dedicate your full attention. It is better to decline and give more attention to the items already on your plate rather than take on another workload and not be able to give any of them the attention required.

#2: I’ll have to think-about-it

If you’re not sure if you can fit the person’s request in, or if you’re dealing with someone who is super pushy, consider buying yourself a little time to think about what they’re asking of you and to get back to them at a later date on your own terms and not get bullied into something.

 #3: The ol’ boomerang no

Are you in the middle of something else? You can always ask the person to come back later when you have more time to consider their request.

 #4: Give a counter offer

If you can’t or don’t want to agree to the person’s request for whatever reason, but you’d still really like to help them out, consider making a counter offer for a lesser commitment that will work better for you.

One of my soft spots where the homeless that would beg for money. Though there are some out there that are honestly in need of assistance, there are others looking for tax-free cash to supplement their income or fund their addictions.

For those who give a line about needing money for food, I let them know that I don’t have any cash, but would not mind swinging by McDonalds and picking up something for them. If they are truly in need of food, they generally take me up on the offer, but if they immediately shoot me down, it is pretty obvious, the money isn’t going for food.

 #5: Just say No

Sometimes you must be direct and let the person know that what they’re asking of you just doesn’t work for you, and you’ll be surprised how often people will respect a firm, honest and direct no.

And remember that they are coming to you and imposing their wants on you. If you are not wanting to help them out, it is courtesy to give them a reason, but not mandatory. They do not own your time, so a simple no is fine if you do not want to give them a reason.

As you practice declining requests that don’t align with your schedule, values or needs, you’ll find that saying no becomes easier and you’ll have more time for yourself, the commitments you already have and the things that are most important to you.

Ignore the Voices

Believe in Yourself, No Matter the Opposition

 

 

We all grow up hearing THOSE voices; you know the ones, the voices that say things like,  “Who do you think you are?”

“What are you thinking even trying to do that?” 

“You have failed so many times in the past, why do you think you can do it now?” 

“Why would anyone listen you?”  “Nobody is going to be interested in what you are trying to do.”

Trust me, been there, heard that. And we end up hearing the voices for so long that we end up becoming conditioned to them so much so that our own inner voice begins to repeat the outside voices. 

“You don’t deserve to be successful.” 

“How is anyone going to want what you have to offer? You’re not a professional.” 

 

Obviously, I know the voices all too well. The voices aren’t just against you; get the picture? I don’t need to keep going.  These voices continually playing and replaying over and over in your mind are destroyers of dreams and can snuff out ambition, self-worth and success faster than anything.  I know, remember I have heard these same voices for years and also because others that I have worked with have told me similar stories. Some of these voices I still have to make a conscious effort to ignore.

 

The most important thing is to remember that it’s all about your perspective. If you find yourself with a gift, a talent, an inspiration or idea that is placed in your heart to share with the world then who are you not to share it? Who are you to allow some echoes from your past to stop that dream from coming to pass?

 

When you reach that moment of clarity, the point in which you know you have something to share then that is when you have to make a decision to let the voices, that we have already established are going to be there, control your thoughts and thereby control your actions, or conclude that you are going to share your dream, your talent, your idea in spite of the negative voices coming in from every direction.

 

After a while of just ignoring the negative input, it starts to take on an almost comical role that inspires you to continue and you come to understand that you are qualified; that you are valuable; that you are helping those people that your contribution is meant for and you are effective. 

 

If you have a calling to write a book, or become a mentor, counselor or coach, then you must accept that you are qualified no matter what the naysayers may tell you.  It is you, your desire to achieve your goal, to reach your dreams and your own journey of self-discovery that will make a difference to others.  Not some external standard of what someone else’s will lead you to fulfilling your calling and NOT what the voices say.

 

Allow yourself to see that you are qualified, you are valuable and you are worthy. You can and you will do it. When you find those voices trying to take over, step away from the situation. If it is a voice from someone now, walk away. Explain that you have heard their opinion and respect their right to have one, but you disagree and will not accept the negative input and then remove yourself from that situation. Every successful person that I have had dealings with have stated that one of the first things you need to do is weed out the negative influences in your life and replace them with good influences. 

 

Now, saying that, I realize that there are some influences in your life that you just can’t walk away from, but you can adjust how much of an influence they are, by taking more control of the conversations and the amount of time that you spend with them. Realize that you are the one that sets the path that you take, not them and just because your direction isn’t the one that they would have taken, doesn’t mean that you are on the wrong path, you are just not on their path.

 

For the inner voices, reflect on where they are coming from. You will find that most are voices from the past that have influenced you. Just like the present voices, CHOOSE not to listen to them. Every time they start to repeat, actively work on replacing the negative output with positive input.

 

As the saying goes, “garbage in, garbage out” so by getting self motivational CDs, reading self-help material, surrounding yourself with people who affirm who you are, you can record over these voices from the past.

 

Now for your own voice; too often we are our own worst critics and so many times we don’t take the first step, or we quit half way through because we start doubting ourselves.

 

This is where faith comes in.  We must know that what we can perceive, we can achieve. All we need to do is not let our own negative programming from past situations, relationships, and failures stop us.

 

Failure is only failure if you choose to not get back up after a fall. If something doesn’t work the way you feel it should have, take on Albert Edison’s perspective; it’s not failure, you just discovered one more way that doesn’t work.

 

You are unique, you are wonderful and you can achieve anything that you put your mind to if you just refuse to let the voices stop you.

 

Click Here for more success

Power Question:

If you do not make changes to your current situation, what would the cost be for doing nothing?