You Never Get A Second Chance To Make A First Impression

 

 

In many cases, your website is the first thing your new potential customers will see when they meet you. Are you making a good first impression? Meeting someone online is little different than meeting them in person; unfortunately, you have less than a minute to catch their attention and keep them reading.

Do they like how you look? Are you saying what your customers are looking to hear? With the future of your online business riding on your words, are you making a good impression? Here are five ideas to have your customers staying longer and remember you long after the encounter ends:

l. Dress nicely and be well groomed. Have you ever been to a website you were ready to leave as soon as you got there? I have. Chances are things were too loud and too busy.

Though there may have been something there of interest to you, you weren't likely to have found it because there was just way too much stuff going on.

So what is the well groomed website wearing this season? Not too many loud flashing headlines. Instead, make sure your site is calm and confident. Your headline and first paragraph should be a summarization of the website theme. Who you are, what you're going to share with them and why you decided to do so.

No one likes to read half a page only to find the site didn't deal with his or her issue of interest. No flashing lights, no neon headlines, no blaring music or boisterous sales pitches blasting away.

2. Have a nice voice; be friendly and pleasant. Have you ever met someone you initially thought you'd like to get to know... and then they opened their mouth and you realized you knew all you needed to? Your website should speak to your readers like a good friend might. Be easy to understand. Write in short sentences, with short paragraphs.

Each paragraph should have a theme, stated in the first sentence, and elaborated on through its conclusion. And though it's so tempting to put some fancy font on your website, you have no idea what they'll see based on how their browser may be set up, which browser they are using, or if they are reading your site on a laptop, desktop or smart phone.

Stick to the basic Arial, Helvetica, and other Sans-serif fonts. They're easy on the eye.

3. Talk just to them; treat them like they're the only one. Rather than talking to the masses as a whole, write to a particular person. Picture them in your mind and write as though you are having a private conversation with them.

Be their friend - This is something for 'you', not just anyone. They'll feel like you really like them and like they have your undivided attention. Always use active voice rather than passive.   It will make them feel as though you're speaking directly to them.

4. Always focus on their needs rather than being pushy and trying to move too fast. Nobody likes to be around someone who pushes the relationship too quickly. You want to get to know someone before you get too emotionally involved. There was a reason this person chose to visit your website. Address that need. How can you solve their problem? Don't tell them what you have; tell them what problem of theirs you can solve. Making a purchase is an emotional decision. If you move too quickly, they won't be ready to commit emotionally. Get to know them first.

5. Give them a reason to stick around or come back. Give them something they can't get anywhere else. While yes, they probably won't feel as special at any other website, but on the off chance the competition is also following these five steps, give them a free mini-course. Let them see you care about their success and about them. Show them you value the relationship. Give them a free report; something to help them reach their goal.

If you follow these guidelines, you'll make a wonderful impression and your new friends won't want to leave. They'll appreciate your thoughtfulness and stick around long enough to see what an absolute 'peach' you really are.

 

 

Anxiety And Stress Relief - Facing Life's Giants!

 

Yesterday was my daughter's birthday. This last year was a major season of change for all of us; new house,new job for my wife, new school for my daughter...it's safe to say that I have dealt with stress. Anyway, we wanted to make this birthday special for my daughter with all of the stress of the year, but the more we worked on it, the more ideas fell through. As stressful as it was, we came up with a game plan that gave her an enjoyable time as well as her friends.

I led in with that story to say this, life often takes on a David and Goliath feeling. Giants bearing down on you, taunting you, making you feel small.  Enormous footsteps shaking the very foundations of your life bringing stress and anxiety.  Relief from these problems can often seem to be, not only out of reach, but also out of sight.  When bills pile up, family demands are overwhelming, your tasks in hand get out of hand and calamity and tragedy fill the headlines of your news feeds.

 

What do you do when stress giants come into your life?  Who do you turn to for help?  The fact it is you are not alone there is somebody who can help.  There are people you can turn to for support, advice and assistance.  You do not have to face these stressors alone in silence.  If you need help to over come life's problems and are looking for stress relief try one of these:

 

·           Family

·            Friends

·            Counselors

·            Pastors

·           Self-help books

·           Self-help CDs

 

How about calling your regular doctor for advice about stress relief?  Many people ignore or forget about these obvious support channels.  In fact, sharing our stress with someone who will support us should be on the top of our list when dealing with life’s stress.  When life's difficulties becomes too much and you are finding things bearing down on you to the point your stress is compounded by a feeling that you can’t take it anymore, then this is the time to share that burden with someone else.

 

Stress relief information and help should be sought in the same way as any other assistance.  If you broke your arm then you wouldn't think twice about seeking medical help, so you should treat your stress problems the same way. If you don’t have someone close to confide in, call your doctor, see a pastor, or make an appointment with a counselor.

 

It is possible that your stress and anxiety is bad enough that a doctor will prescribe medication to give you some relief, but most of the time, just getting off of your chest is enough to get you back in the game.

 

Make time for yourself

Another way to handle the giants is to step away and regroup. Everybody deserves (and needs) some time away.  Time for one’s self should not be considered an unnecessary luxury.  It is something that we all need.  Find something that you love doing, something that gives you pleasure and take the time to indulge yourself in it.  If your schedule is so overwhelming then start with ten minutes for yourself per day, your objective should be working towards one hour of time devoted to you per day with one day strictly for relaxation and not thinking about any of your stress giants.

 

Taking the time out for yourself does not mean that you are selfish and uncaring.  When people demand so much of you, it is easy to find your personal resources evaporating away and your ability to cope with your own personal stress will diminish.  To be able to give your best and work at your optimum level means that you need time devoted to yourself.

 

So, what are you going to do with this new time that you have devoted to yourself?  How will you use your "me time?"  Here are a few suggestions to help get you started relaxing and regrouping to face the giants another day:

 

·           Take a long relaxing walk

·           Take a long relaxing bath; light candles, burn incense

·           Read a fiction book

·           Write a poem or short story

·            Undertake some light exercise

·           Take up a new sport

·            Practice meditation

·           Enroll in a yoga class

·           Try listening to music

 

Whatever you do begin to enjoy life.  Live it to the fullest.  Consider each moment precious and know that you do have permission to step away from your giants for a short time to regroup; they will still be there tomorrow. Begin to experience life and don't just let it pass you by because you are spending too much time stressing on things.  Stress relief is attainable and within your grasp.  But you must make the effort to reach out and take it.

 

 

 

A Better You: Your 7 days program to self-improvement

I think that I’ve lost count on how many times I've read and heard of celebrity marriages failing almost left and right. Not that I care (and personally I don't), it just seems strange that we often see movie and TV stars as heroes almost, living the fairytale life of riches and glamour. I suppose we all have to stop sticking our heads in the clouds and face reality that no one is perfect and they do not deserve to be idolized anymore than you or I do when it comes down to it.

 

There are many ways to lose your sense of self-esteem despite how trivial it could get. But whatever happens, we should all try not to lose our own sense of self, especially if it means comparing ourselves to others. I mean, I have had personal issues in my own life where I was let down by someone and it was totally devastating to me because I based so much of who I was on who I thought they were. We are responsible for our own actions, not those of others who will let us down eventually.

 

So what does it take to be your own hero in business and in life? Here are some of the things that I have come up with that I think will improve who you are based on you and isn’t dependant on the actions of a hero or mentor. In order to truly be successful, you must be your own hero.

 

1. Know your purpose

Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you'll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.

 

This may seem tricky at first, especially if you find yourself in a tight spot or even a dead end. But there's always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself simply by determining what your purpose is.

 

2. Know your values

What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for 2015 - check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn't align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it because any goal counterintuitive to your values will cause you to waffle on those goals.

 

3. Know your needs

Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed over it.

 

List your top four needs and determine if they are legitimate needs that should be met or if they are counteractive to your purpose in life and need to be modified. Some have needs based on addictions, lack of education, etc. All of these needs are not real needs, but uncontrolled desires.

 

4. Know your passions

You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be.

 

Your passions are those things in your life that help drive you. If your purpose involves your passions then achieving any goal is possible.

 

5. Live from the inside out

Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regular reflection. Commune with nature, take a spa day, take an entire day to lock yourself away somewhere just you and your hobby; get away and recharge your battery.

 

For most of us city slickers it's hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. I personally love hiking old nature trails, sometimes I will take a sketch book with me and just disappear for a day, sometimes two.

 

6. Honor your strengths

What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify a few. Are you imaginative, witty, or good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.

 

7. Serve others

When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others.

 

As I often quote, Zig Ziglar said, “you will get everything in life that you want, if you just help enough people get what they want.”

 

Self-improvement is indeed worth it. It shouldn't lie within the confines of an office building or in the four corners of your own room. The real difference lies within us and is determined by how much we want to change for the better.

Just Say NO

Answer this question honestly; is it difficult for you to say “no”?

If your answer is yes, don’t feel bad because you’re not alone.

There are many people who find themselves saying "yes" to things they don't really want to agree to but are afraid that they will appear selfish, mean or rude if they don’t say yes, or in an effort to avoid conflict or hurting another person’s feelings, they will say yes in order to defer conflict.

Saying “no” isn’t always easy, but it IS vital in business and personal life to be able to say no when the time comes.

Healthy people have healthy boundaries, and part of having healthy boundaries is to be able to say no to requests, situations or people that you can’t or don’t want to accommodate. Think of “no” as the hinge on the gate that controls who you allow in your boundary lines.

I was raised in an abusive environment where I spent many months at my grandmother’s house where I slept on a couch in the living room and my “dresser” was an old banana box next to my grandmother’s bed. If I ever had money, my grandmother, my uncle, my mother would all take it if they felt they needed it and never even asked, so I grew up with a low sense of self and had no concept of personal space or boundaries.

Though it has taken me many years to learn the art of saying no in order to stay sane, I still have issues with it at times, so don’t beat yourself up if you continue to have issues with it, just keep working on it and know that you will be a better person for it. Others will have more respect for you, you will have more respect for yourself and you won’t find yourself in as many negative situations.

Here are a few techniques/phrases that I have found work for me and hopefully they work for you as well.

#1: Unfortunately, I have a full plate right now…

If you find yourself way too busy to accommodate the person’s request, let them know you’re slammed and that you simply have no time to fit what they’re asking you to do into your schedule.

Many people have issue with this because they have a tendency to justify their time. Just because you have the time doesn’t mean that you have the time to dedicate your full attention. It is better to decline and give more attention to the items already on your plate rather than take on another workload and not be able to give any of them the attention required.

#2: I’ll have to think-about-it

If you’re not sure if you can fit the person’s request in, or if you’re dealing with someone who is super pushy, consider buying yourself a little time to think about what they’re asking of you and to get back to them at a later date on your own terms and not get bullied into something.

 #3: The ol’ boomerang no

Are you in the middle of something else? You can always ask the person to come back later when you have more time to consider their request.

 #4: Give a counter offer

If you can’t or don’t want to agree to the person’s request for whatever reason, but you’d still really like to help them out, consider making a counter offer for a lesser commitment that will work better for you.

One of my soft spots where the homeless that would beg for money. Though there are some out there that are honestly in need of assistance, there are others looking for tax-free cash to supplement their income or fund their addictions.

For those who give a line about needing money for food, I let them know that I don’t have any cash, but would not mind swinging by McDonalds and picking up something for them. If they are truly in need of food, they generally take me up on the offer, but if they immediately shoot me down, it is pretty obvious, the money isn’t going for food.

 #5: Just say No

Sometimes you must be direct and let the person know that what they’re asking of you just doesn’t work for you, and you’ll be surprised how often people will respect a firm, honest and direct no.

And remember that they are coming to you and imposing their wants on you. If you are not wanting to help them out, it is courtesy to give them a reason, but not mandatory. They do not own your time, so a simple no is fine if you do not want to give them a reason.

As you practice declining requests that don’t align with your schedule, values or needs, you’ll find that saying no becomes easier and you’ll have more time for yourself, the commitments you already have and the things that are most important to you.

Are You a Leader or a Slacker?

 

Do you claim to be a Leader in your business or your field of expertise?  I have noticed that many people claim to be Leaders, but I consider them Slackers instead.  A Slacker is someone that basically likes to give orders and passing off as much work on to others as they can while taking as much credit as they can.

 

Now take an honest look in the mirror. It may be difficult to answer truthfully, but does this describe you, your up-line or someone else on your team?  Here are some clues that might help you out.

 

Leader:  Praises his/her team and offers encouragement.

Slacker:  Quick to find fault and slow to give praise.

 

Leader:  Holds himself/herself to a higher standard than his/her team.

Slacker:  Has a high level of expectation for his/her team but doesn’t hold himself/herself to that same standards.

 

Leader:  Leads by example and is a role model for his/her team.

Slacker:  Blends in with crowd and never steps up to take a leadership role or passes off leadership responsibilities to subordinates while still taking responsibility for all positives that take place.

 

Leader:  Has deep-rooted belief in his/her business and leads new teammates through the growth process (learning the business and facing obstacles with the team as opposed to stepping back and letting others take care of everything.

Slacker:  Convinces a person to join his/her team then pawns them off on someone else or simply pushes them to the side (Referred to as “sign and drop”) to either sink or swim and all the while making veiled and not so veiled statements such as “if you can’t do your job, I’ll find someone who can.”

 

Which of these characteristics, best describes you and your teammates?  Be honest with yourself.

 

Just remember, that a leader must lead and nourish others through the growth process.  If he/she loses integrity and fails to take action, then this same failure mindset will ripple down to his/her teammates and reflect throughout the company.  Employees will always be a reflection of their management.

 

So let me ask you one last time…Are you a Leader or a Slacker?

 

 

 

Power Question?

I am still taking a running poll;should I keep adding them in at the end of posts, or would you prefer a Power Quote? Or nothing at all? Let me know your feedback. 

Body Speak

Use Body Language to add hidden power to the Message of Your Presentation.

 

“In an orator … we demand the acuteness of a logician, the profundity of a philosopher, the diction virtually of a poet, the memory of a lawyer, the voice of a performer in tragic drama, the gestures, you might almost say, of an actor at the very top of his profession. Here, then, are some of the reasons why a first-class orator is one of the rarest things in the world.”

-- Cicero

 

In any speech or presentation, your body language adds power to the message. It either supports or detracts from what your words are saying. The operative word here that we want to look at is "support". Body language must be in tune with the message. And the corollary is that body language must also not distract or detract from the message you are giving. If they are denying each other, then your presentation will fail.

 

Confidence and sincerity are the absolute basis for this process. If your body is declaring that you are not sincere in what you are saying then your credibility decreases and there is no way your message will have the impact it should have. Think about the tone of your message. Is it relaxed, conversational? Then make your body language relaxed. Is it passionate, strong and powerful? Then create body language that conveys that passion. Is it alert and enthusiastic? Then your body language needs to be reflecting that enthusiasm.

 

Learn to become aware of what your hands are doing while you speak. If necessary, make yourself hold them still. Many people have habits that are terribly distracting and yet they aren't aware of what they are doing. They click or twiddle a pen, play with their hair or their clothes, hold a microphone with fingers unconsciously making a rude gesture (if you know what I mean), take glasses on and off, put hands in pockets only to take them out seconds later and repeat the process continuously. All of these things are not necessarily detrimental in themselves, if the audience is absolutely focused on the speaker and the message. But if there is any reason for the audience's attention to stray (and we all have short attention spans) then they will become fascinated, at best, and possibly annoyed at whatever it is that the speaker is doing with their hands.

 

If, on the other hand, (pardon the pun), those hands are working to support the speech, they will bring the attention back to the message. They will also give power to the impact of the message.

 

Natural looking gestures are basically the aim. If you are not a natural gesturer, your body will support your message. It is necessary to be aware that you are not repeating the same gesture many times. It may add emphasis the first time, but after that it will distract as much as the others mentioned earlier. Watch television journalists and sooner or later you will notice this.

You can also practice gestures. Join a public speaking club where you can practice in a supportive environment until you are comfortable, and confident that your gestures are not detracting from your message.

 

Of course, there are many books and websites with information about body language and gestures. Basically:

• Gestures above shoulder level support messages about things that are spiritual or uplifting (a church minister will raise his hands in blessing).
• Ordinary messages are supported by gestures at the middle level of your body.
• Things that are despicable or degrading or debilitating are supported by gestures below the waist.
•  

You can use your palms. Held out, palm upwards, they support supplication, requesting a response, or openness. They can be used to indicate division if held vertically with the little finger down. Using a fist is a very powerful gesture. It indicates strong power and passion, and may also be used as a threat. Be careful with that. Take care, too, with pointing with a finger. People don't respond well to accusation or to being singled out, so be sure your gesture supports your message.

 

Your clothes, too, can distract attention from your message. If you have a very bright or unusual item of clothing, if your scarf or tie flaps in a breeze, if your earrings dangle or click, or your necklace or tie pin clicks on a microphone, the audience will be distracted from your message. Again, unless your message is absolutely riveting, your clothes will become the centre of attention just as gestures can, and your message will lose its impact.

 

How you stand and walk works in just the same way. If you are a passionate speaker who simply cannot stand still, then hopefully you will support the passion of your message. Try to use standing still to give the same sort of impact that a pause in the middle of rapid speech would give. If you choose to move or change position just to provide relief because you think your speech is boring; be careful. It may be that your movement will have more impact than your massage. Timing can help so that you change position with a new idea or with a new visual support. Try to make all of your body language work with the movement. So, for example, if you want to walk to give the impression of thinking of a new idea, then set your hand up to your face to indicate thoughtfulness, and speak slowly or stop speaking altogether.

 

Facial expression, too, must be in harmony with your message, or it will work against it, just as your body language does.

 

Everything - body language, image and message must work together to create the impact you have chosen.

Click Here to find out more on body language

 

Power Question:

OK, I have gotten an equal amount of positive and negative feedback about ending with power questions, so my question to you now is, should I keep adding them in at the end of posts, or would you prefer a Power Quote? Or nothing at all? Let me know your feedback. 

Ignore the Voices

Believe in Yourself, No Matter the Opposition

 

 

We all grow up hearing THOSE voices; you know the ones, the voices that say things like,  “Who do you think you are?”

“What are you thinking even trying to do that?” 

“You have failed so many times in the past, why do you think you can do it now?” 

“Why would anyone listen you?”  “Nobody is going to be interested in what you are trying to do.”

Trust me, been there, heard that. And we end up hearing the voices for so long that we end up becoming conditioned to them so much so that our own inner voice begins to repeat the outside voices. 

“You don’t deserve to be successful.” 

“How is anyone going to want what you have to offer? You’re not a professional.” 

 

Obviously, I know the voices all too well. The voices aren’t just against you; get the picture? I don’t need to keep going.  These voices continually playing and replaying over and over in your mind are destroyers of dreams and can snuff out ambition, self-worth and success faster than anything.  I know, remember I have heard these same voices for years and also because others that I have worked with have told me similar stories. Some of these voices I still have to make a conscious effort to ignore.

 

The most important thing is to remember that it’s all about your perspective. If you find yourself with a gift, a talent, an inspiration or idea that is placed in your heart to share with the world then who are you not to share it? Who are you to allow some echoes from your past to stop that dream from coming to pass?

 

When you reach that moment of clarity, the point in which you know you have something to share then that is when you have to make a decision to let the voices, that we have already established are going to be there, control your thoughts and thereby control your actions, or conclude that you are going to share your dream, your talent, your idea in spite of the negative voices coming in from every direction.

 

After a while of just ignoring the negative input, it starts to take on an almost comical role that inspires you to continue and you come to understand that you are qualified; that you are valuable; that you are helping those people that your contribution is meant for and you are effective. 

 

If you have a calling to write a book, or become a mentor, counselor or coach, then you must accept that you are qualified no matter what the naysayers may tell you.  It is you, your desire to achieve your goal, to reach your dreams and your own journey of self-discovery that will make a difference to others.  Not some external standard of what someone else’s will lead you to fulfilling your calling and NOT what the voices say.

 

Allow yourself to see that you are qualified, you are valuable and you are worthy. You can and you will do it. When you find those voices trying to take over, step away from the situation. If it is a voice from someone now, walk away. Explain that you have heard their opinion and respect their right to have one, but you disagree and will not accept the negative input and then remove yourself from that situation. Every successful person that I have had dealings with have stated that one of the first things you need to do is weed out the negative influences in your life and replace them with good influences. 

 

Now, saying that, I realize that there are some influences in your life that you just can’t walk away from, but you can adjust how much of an influence they are, by taking more control of the conversations and the amount of time that you spend with them. Realize that you are the one that sets the path that you take, not them and just because your direction isn’t the one that they would have taken, doesn’t mean that you are on the wrong path, you are just not on their path.

 

For the inner voices, reflect on where they are coming from. You will find that most are voices from the past that have influenced you. Just like the present voices, CHOOSE not to listen to them. Every time they start to repeat, actively work on replacing the negative output with positive input.

 

As the saying goes, “garbage in, garbage out” so by getting self motivational CDs, reading self-help material, surrounding yourself with people who affirm who you are, you can record over these voices from the past.

 

Now for your own voice; too often we are our own worst critics and so many times we don’t take the first step, or we quit half way through because we start doubting ourselves.

 

This is where faith comes in.  We must know that what we can perceive, we can achieve. All we need to do is not let our own negative programming from past situations, relationships, and failures stop us.

 

Failure is only failure if you choose to not get back up after a fall. If something doesn’t work the way you feel it should have, take on Albert Edison’s perspective; it’s not failure, you just discovered one more way that doesn’t work.

 

You are unique, you are wonderful and you can achieve anything that you put your mind to if you just refuse to let the voices stop you.

 

Click Here for more success

Power Question:

If you do not make changes to your current situation, what would the cost be for doing nothing?