You Never Get A Second Chance To Make A First Impression

 

 

In many cases, your website is the first thing your new potential customers will see when they meet you. Are you making a good first impression? Meeting someone online is little different than meeting them in person; unfortunately, you have less than a minute to catch their attention and keep them reading.

Do they like how you look? Are you saying what your customers are looking to hear? With the future of your online business riding on your words, are you making a good impression? Here are five ideas to have your customers staying longer and remember you long after the encounter ends:

l. Dress nicely and be well groomed. Have you ever been to a website you were ready to leave as soon as you got there? I have. Chances are things were too loud and too busy.

Though there may have been something there of interest to you, you weren't likely to have found it because there was just way too much stuff going on.

So what is the well groomed website wearing this season? Not too many loud flashing headlines. Instead, make sure your site is calm and confident. Your headline and first paragraph should be a summarization of the website theme. Who you are, what you're going to share with them and why you decided to do so.

No one likes to read half a page only to find the site didn't deal with his or her issue of interest. No flashing lights, no neon headlines, no blaring music or boisterous sales pitches blasting away.

2. Have a nice voice; be friendly and pleasant. Have you ever met someone you initially thought you'd like to get to know... and then they opened their mouth and you realized you knew all you needed to? Your website should speak to your readers like a good friend might. Be easy to understand. Write in short sentences, with short paragraphs.

Each paragraph should have a theme, stated in the first sentence, and elaborated on through its conclusion. And though it's so tempting to put some fancy font on your website, you have no idea what they'll see based on how their browser may be set up, which browser they are using, or if they are reading your site on a laptop, desktop or smart phone.

Stick to the basic Arial, Helvetica, and other Sans-serif fonts. They're easy on the eye.

3. Talk just to them; treat them like they're the only one. Rather than talking to the masses as a whole, write to a particular person. Picture them in your mind and write as though you are having a private conversation with them.

Be their friend - This is something for 'you', not just anyone. They'll feel like you really like them and like they have your undivided attention. Always use active voice rather than passive.   It will make them feel as though you're speaking directly to them.

4. Always focus on their needs rather than being pushy and trying to move too fast. Nobody likes to be around someone who pushes the relationship too quickly. You want to get to know someone before you get too emotionally involved. There was a reason this person chose to visit your website. Address that need. How can you solve their problem? Don't tell them what you have; tell them what problem of theirs you can solve. Making a purchase is an emotional decision. If you move too quickly, they won't be ready to commit emotionally. Get to know them first.

5. Give them a reason to stick around or come back. Give them something they can't get anywhere else. While yes, they probably won't feel as special at any other website, but on the off chance the competition is also following these five steps, give them a free mini-course. Let them see you care about their success and about them. Show them you value the relationship. Give them a free report; something to help them reach their goal.

If you follow these guidelines, you'll make a wonderful impression and your new friends won't want to leave. They'll appreciate your thoughtfulness and stick around long enough to see what an absolute 'peach' you really are.

 

 

12 Reasons why Smiling makes you More Successful!

 

When you realize the true benefits that one gains from a smile it is surprising that more people don’t spend more of their time actively sharing them with others.

 

1. Our smile shows others how friendly we are.

 

If a stranger approached you and gained eye contact with you and then treated you to a broad smile you will have a fairly good idea that he or she is being friendly and means you no harm or ill will.

 

By contrast, however, we often find it far more difficult to give trust to a stranger that approaches with a scowl or unfriendly look on their face.

 

2. A smile can make people happy.

 

When someone treats you to a smile, even a stranger, you usually can’t help but smile back.  For that moment you enjoy a flash of positive communication without saying a word. As you walk through a crowd such as a social event, you may find yourself doing this hundreds times in a very short period of time. 

 

When you smile at someone who is not already smiling and they smile back you have brought a moment of happiness into that person’s life which, who knows, could last all day.

 

3. Smiling can be (and usually is) infectious.

 

When you are in the company of someone who smiles a lot you will soon discover that their smile starts to wear off on you.  It is hard not to return a smile; most of us do it at an unconscious level without thinking.

 

4. Smiling could make you popular.

 

Which type of people do you prefer; A: the person that has a tired and listless face or B: the one with an expression that may reflect their inner thoughts of boredom and worry or C: someone who is always smiling and shows that they have an enthusiastic passion for life?

 

I think for the majority of us the choice is be clear!

 

5. Smiling can bring new friends into your life.

 

In the same way few of us would make a conscious choice to be miserable, we generally stay away from other people who are unfriendly. Lets face it we all want someone who is going to be bubbly and a happy and positive person. 

 

6. A smile is a gift usually returned

 

When someone smiles back at you it make you feel good inside. You have just made a short, but very positive communication and possibly the first step in the process of getting to know or making friends with someone new.

 

7. Smiling makes you positive and happy inside.

 

When you smile it is hard to feel unhappy, negative or sad in anyway. Smiling gives you enthusiasm and drive; it can also become quite habit forming.

 

8. A smile makes you look more attractive.

 

You don’t see many celebrities or media personalities that are not smiling because if you did it is fairly certain that their popularity would quickly start to drop!

 

9. Smiling also helps make you memorable to others!

 

Have you noticed that smiling people are usually far more memorable than those that are not? It is a fact that you are 3 times more likely to remember the person that is smiling over the one that is wearing a negative or neutral look on their face.

 

10. More important, smiling is good for your health!!!

 

When you are smiling you find whatever you are doing far easier. It releases stress, worry and tension that you may have built up throughout the day. Long term, developing the smiling habit will be one of the smartest things that you can do to improve most aspects of your life.

 

11. The effects of smiling can last for hours

 

Whatever problems and challenges you have in your life, smiling temporary puts them on hold.  For a while you forget the problems and become more positive, and while you are in a positive state you have far more potential and power to advance and improve your life.

 

12. Smiling is FREE!

 

You are never going to run short of smiles and will always have enough to go around.  When you weigh up the positive points of smiling it is a no-brainer decision to do far more smiling and share them with as many people as possible.

 

Keep smiling.

Assertiveness Q and A

First, if you missed this series, go back and check out the other posts on this topic and the Q and A will be more pertinent to you. Just click here for the first of the series.

Here are just a few Q and A discussions on the topic of assertiveness. Again, there is no quick fix, one side fits all ability to go from being used and abused to being assertive without being pushy and obnoxious, but hopefully you see the importance of being more assertive in order to be successful and keep moving forward.

 

Q: What if I do become more assertive and I use what I have learned in my relationships, in my office work, or with friends; I even learned to say “no”. What if people get angry with me?

 

A: People who are truly your friends are not going to get mad at you. Real friends want you to learn and grow as a person. They will probably be happy for you now that you have learned to stop being a doormat. True friends want the best for you; in fact, they may have been secretly worried about you being such a pushover.

 

As for your spouse, if your partner truly loves you and wants the best for you, he/she will rejoice that you are learning to be more assertive and growing as a person. Your spouse’s own life will be enriched by your experience. You will be more self-confident and happy, thereby making both of your lives better.

 

If you apply these skills to your job, your boss and co-workers will have more respect for you. At work, it can mean getting a promotion, being assigned new and interesting challenges, or maybe even a raise. When your boss sees your capability to take control, handle crises, remain calm, and maintain poise, he will begin to see you in a completely new light.

 

Standing up for yourself makes a huge difference in the way people look at you and in how they treat you, especially at the office. It may be true that you cannot please everyone with your newly acquired skill. The ones who will not like the new you are probably the ones who used to push you around and took advantage of you at every turn. Do not worry; they will get over it.

 

Stop depriving yourself of the respect due to you. Be assertive and earn other people’s respect. Be in control of your life and feel more self-confident.

 

Your life will never be the same again.

 

Q: If others do get angry with me, how do I handle it? What if I fall apart?

 

A: If you use these new skills appropriately, things will change, situations will improve and yes, you will earn the ire of some people. As previously pointed out, those who will get angry are probably the ones who used to mistreat you.

 

However, you are improving your own life and protecting your rights. They are upset because they can no longer push you around, infringe on your personal rights, and pass on to you the jobs they do not wish to do.

 

That is why they are angry. Bear in mind that you are not responsible for their feelings. They will have to deal with their feelings. It is now their problem, not yours.

 

Q: Are my friends going to get mad when I start telling them “no” all the time?

 

A: They would be more upset to know that you have been saying “yes” to everyone, when you really mean to say “no”. Agreeing to things that you really do not want to do will make you feel resentful towards that person.

 

You hate feeling that way towards friends, right? It is almost as if you have been lying to them.

 

Being assertive and saying “no” is a more honest approach, don’t you think? Or would you rather risk destroying their love and respect just because you cannot say “no”?

 

Q: What about saying “no” at work; won’t that get me in trouble?

 

A: By agreeing to everything that everyone wants you to do at work, you will find that you simply cannot keep up with all the work. There are just so many hours in a day. If you say “yes” to everything, you are cheating yourself and the others who are depending on you to finish what you said you would do.

 

Doing shoddy work is not going to impress anyone. By taking on too much, you would not have the time to do a good job on everything. By limiting the number of jobs you accept, you are actually doing everyone a favor. If you keep the workload down, you can do a great job on your assignments. This is what will impress people. It is better to cut the workload and finish everything well, than to take on too much and finish nothing.

 

Q: What if someone asks me to do something I know I can easily accomplish and yet, I say “no”; will he think that I’m selfish or self-centered?

 

A: Just because you can do something does not mean you have to do it. You can refuse even legitimate requests assertively. Sometimes, you have to put your own needs ahead of others. You cannot please everyone all the time and you do not have to. Bitterness will grow if you let the guilt get to you and make you a ‘yes’ person all the time.

 

Q: If I’m assertive about what I know and what I can do, won’t that make me sound egocentric? Shouldn’t I be more modest?

 

A: Being assertive and let people know you are clever and skilled is not being immodest or egocentric. Sometimes you have to toot your own horn, so to speak, and there is nothing wrong with that. If you do not do it, who will?

Sometimes being modest is not a good thing. It makes you sound like you cannot say anything positive about yourself. It also indicates that you cannot give or receive compliments.

 

Q: If I toot my own horn, as you say, won’t people expect me to be great 100% of the time? What if I screw up?

 

A: Without being assertive and letting others know of your skills and accomplishments, you will miss out many opportunities. Since no one is perfect, you will make mistakes occasionally. Own up to them and learn from them, then move on.

 

Even if you mess up once in a while, you will be respected far more for giving it your best shot than by not trying at all. As Wayne Gretzky, the hockey player said, “You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

 

Q: I’m a woman and I’m not sure it’s considered feminine to be assertive all the time. Men can get away with it, but not women. Will men in my office hate me if I try to be assertive in the workplace?

 

A: It is unfortunate that assertive women often have more trouble at work than their male counterparts. However, that should not stop any woman from standing up for herself in the workplace. If you possess the skills necessary for the job and have the experience and the drive, you can assert yourself and get what you want.

 

A woman in a management position may find herself walking in a fine line. She must be assertive in order to do her job, but may be thought of as pushy or unfeminine when she does. Oddly enough, studies done on this topic showed that the criticism came mostly from other women, not the men in the workplace.

 

Someone once said that we should learn to live without the good opinions of others. If your career is important to you, you will have to learn to be assertive and be selective about considering other people’s opinions.

 

As I said in the first part of this series, assertiveness starts with being aware.

If you have read my blog for very long, you know that I am not doing this to get rich off of my readers, I want to help others succeed and do it without having to hit all of the bumps in the road that I have, so when I offer something, it is not very often and it is to help. Like with this offer; a big part of assertiveness is being able to find your voice and speak up. Click Here! for an awesome book on speaking. It is a great one to own, but if not, try to find it in your local library.

6 Bad Habits That Can Stifle Your Success

 

Too often, our habits control us and determine whether we succeed or not. It is imperative that we change out our bad habits for good disciplines. To do this, however, we must first identify those habits that are limiting our success.

 

False Limitations

 

Ask a writer for a great idea, and you’ll get a solution that involves words. Ask a designer for a great idea, and you’ll get a solution that involves visuals. Ask a blogger for a great idea, and you’ll get a solution that involves a blog.

 

We’re all a product of our experience. But the limitations we have are self-imposed. They are false limits. Only when you force yourself to look past what you know and feel comfortable with can you come up with the breakthrough ideas you’re looking for.

 

Be open to anything. Step outside your comfort zone. Consider how those in unrelated areas do what they do. What seems impossible today may seem surprisingly doable tomorrow.

 

If you recognize some of these problems in yourself, don’t fret. In fact, rejoice! Knowing what’s holding you back is the first step toward breaking down the barriers of creativity.

 

Lack of confidence

 

A certain level of uncertainly accompanies every creative act. A small measure of self-doubt is healthy.

 

However, you must have confidence in your abilities in order to create and carry out effective solutions to problems.

 

Much of this comes from experience, but confidence also comes from familiarity with how creativity works.

 

When you understand that ideas often seem crazy at first, that failure is just a learning experience, and that nothing is impossible, you are on your way to becoming more confident and more creative.

 

Instead of dividing the world into the possible and impossible, divide it into what you’ve tried and what you haven’t tried. There are a million pathways to success.

 

Information Overwhelm

 

It’s called “analysis paralysis,” the condition of spending so much time thinking about a problem and cramming your brain with so much information that you lose the ability to act.

 

It’s been said that information is to the brain what food is to the body. True enough. But just as you can overeat, you can also over think.

 

Every successful person I’ve ever met has the ability to know when to stop collecting information and start taking action. Many subscribe to the “ready – fire – aim” philosophy of business success, knowing that acting on a good plan today is better than waiting for a perfect plan tomorrow.

 

Fear of failure

 

Most people remember baseball legend Babe Ruth as one of the great hitters of all time, with a career record of 714 home runs.

 

However, he was also a master of the strike out. That’s because he always swung for home runs, not singles or doubles. Ruth either succeeded big or failed spectacularly.

 

No one wants to make mistakes or fail. But if you try too hard to avoid failure, you’ll also avoid success.

 

It has been said that to increase your success rate, you should aim to make more mistakes. In other words, take more chances and you’ll succeed more often.

 

Those few really great ideas you come up with will more than compensate for all the dumb mistakes you make.

 

Two Lines of Thought at Once

 

Like driving a car in first gear and reverse at the same time, it just can’t be done.

Likewise, you shouldn’t try to use different types of thinking at the same time. Just like in the transmission in your car going two directions at once, you’ll strip your mental transmission as well.

 

Creating means generating new ideas, visualizing, looking ahead, considering the possibilities.

 

Evaluating means analyzing and judging, picking apart ideas and sorting them into piles of good and bad, useful and useless.

 

These two types of thinking work together, but not at the same time without causing some issues; one will lock up the other.

 

Most people evaluate too soon and too often, and therefore create less. In order to create more and better ideas, you must separate creation from evaluation, coming up with lots of ideas first, and then judging the worth of each later.

 

Keep your ideas written down somewhere and visit them often. There are times when an idea will give birth to new ideas and even if you end up evaluating an idea as not working for you at that time doesn’t mean that it won’t work later.

 

Other People

 

Even if you have a wide-open mind and the ability to see what’s possible, most people around you will not. They will tell you in various, and often, subtle ways to conform, be sensible, and not rock the boat.

 

It’s like going crabbing on an Alaskan Sea Crab boat. They dump the crabs in a small box hold area that the crabs could get out of, but they don’t because just as soon as one starts to get up, others pull it back down.

 

The same holds true for people. There are those out there who find it easier to pull others down than to work on succeeding themselves.

 

Ignore them. The path to every victory is paved with predictions of failure. And once you have a big win under your belt, all the naysayers will shut their noise and see you for what you are — a creative force to be reckoned with.

 

Success is yours to grab, you just have to want it bad enough to overcome the limiting bad habits that keep you from getting it.

 

 

The Leader You Need To Be In 8 Steps

 

An important part of success in life is the ability to lead. It is important that we not only be able to lead others but be willing to lead ourselves first. No one succeeds in life by simply following others.

 

Being a good leader is more than simply being at the forefront of the crowd. A leader must act. Too often we simply accept that someone looks or sounds like a leader and too rarely do we actually investigate their character, experience and actions to see if they really are.

 

In order for us to become good leaders ourselves, we need to concentrate on actions rather than simple appearances. The title of this article refers to eight steps, but do not think of these as steps like in an instruction manual; once completed you move on to the next one, but instead, think of these as progressive actions that you must repeat on a regular basis.

 

First, be alert to new potentials. "Reality" is not absolute but rather subject to constant change. Think about inventors, explorers, and agents of social change who have achieved greatness. Some might simply say that certain people are successful because they are lucky to be in the right place at the right time. Maybe so, but if they hadn't had their eyes open for the opportunity when it showed itself then it wouldn't have mattered if they were in the right place.

 

Second, accept inspiration from wherever it comes (even your opponents). The wisest leaders constantly study their competition. In war, politics, and business we constantly see examples of this research and reconnaissance. Too many times though a certain study, many concentrate on finding a weakness to exploit. If you want to be a leader of positive change don't fall victim to this trend. Instead, if you find a weakness, make sure to avoid that pitfall yourself. If you find the strength then find a way to strengthen your own qualities to match.

 

Third, learn something new and work on implementing it every day. This means you must continually seek to expand your horizons, internally and externally. Feed your mind with new lessons and knowledge and constantly expand your horizons. Seek out and meet new people and immerse yourself in new social situations. You never know when these new experiences will help you in your leadership role.

 

Fourth, search for and find answers in subtle clues. Look beneath the surface and constantly question. This is an extension of the third step in that you are seeking new knowledge. But this also means that you will need to sometimes step off what we see as the traditional paths of knowledge. Don't simply read books in the literary canon or the bestsellers list. Take seminars rather than classes, as there is more room for questioning and debate. Seek out the unconventional thinkers, teachers, and writers. You may not agree with them, but to know someone else’s perspective is to be able to more effectively verbalize your own.

 

Fifth, improvise if no existing solutions are available. No excuses. Necessity is the mother of invention. How do you know it won't work if you've never tried it before? Remember, not all approaches need to come from the front. Look at your problem from all sides and systematically attempt different solutions in various combinations. Part of being an effective leader is problem solving.

 

Six, make at least one person you care about happy every day. If you make it a point to be thoughtful and caring for one person every day then soon this thoughtful, caring behavior will become a habit and that habit will spread to the others around you. Making someone else happy also feeds your own personal happiness. Just imagine how much better the world would be if we all did a little bit more to spread happiness. Successful leadership has the respect of those around you, not fear. Spreading happiness attracts people to you and thus makes you an attractive leader.

 

Seven, offer help, even if there's no apparent advantage to you. This means more than writing a check. It means giving of your time and energy and yourself. Sometimes it will mean helping someone you don't know and sometimes it can be a very personal action. Zig Ziglar is well known for saying “you’ll get everything you want out of life if you just help enough people get what they want.”

 

Finally, never let negativity be your last word on any subject. If your final words are negative it doesn’t matter how hopeful you may be about the potential of a project or action the lasting impression you give to others is one of negativity. Accentuate the positive and you are more likely to see a positive outcome. Even if you have to walk away, regroup and readdress the issue, come back and make sure that the last impression you make on the subject is a positive one.

 

If you follow these eight action steps not only will you become a better leader but you will also lead yourself to a more successful life.

 

If your leadership is stifled due to shyness, limiting beliefs, etc.,click here for help.

Power Question?

I am still taking a running poll; should I keep adding power questions at the end of posts, or would you prefer a Power Quote? Or nothing at all? Let me know your feedback. 

 

Body Speak

Use Body Language to add hidden power to the Message of Your Presentation.

 

“In an orator … we demand the acuteness of a logician, the profundity of a philosopher, the diction virtually of a poet, the memory of a lawyer, the voice of a performer in tragic drama, the gestures, you might almost say, of an actor at the very top of his profession. Here, then, are some of the reasons why a first-class orator is one of the rarest things in the world.”

-- Cicero

 

In any speech or presentation, your body language adds power to the message. It either supports or detracts from what your words are saying. The operative word here that we want to look at is "support". Body language must be in tune with the message. And the corollary is that body language must also not distract or detract from the message you are giving. If they are denying each other, then your presentation will fail.

 

Confidence and sincerity are the absolute basis for this process. If your body is declaring that you are not sincere in what you are saying then your credibility decreases and there is no way your message will have the impact it should have. Think about the tone of your message. Is it relaxed, conversational? Then make your body language relaxed. Is it passionate, strong and powerful? Then create body language that conveys that passion. Is it alert and enthusiastic? Then your body language needs to be reflecting that enthusiasm.

 

Learn to become aware of what your hands are doing while you speak. If necessary, make yourself hold them still. Many people have habits that are terribly distracting and yet they aren't aware of what they are doing. They click or twiddle a pen, play with their hair or their clothes, hold a microphone with fingers unconsciously making a rude gesture (if you know what I mean), take glasses on and off, put hands in pockets only to take them out seconds later and repeat the process continuously. All of these things are not necessarily detrimental in themselves, if the audience is absolutely focused on the speaker and the message. But if there is any reason for the audience's attention to stray (and we all have short attention spans) then they will become fascinated, at best, and possibly annoyed at whatever it is that the speaker is doing with their hands.

 

If, on the other hand, (pardon the pun), those hands are working to support the speech, they will bring the attention back to the message. They will also give power to the impact of the message.

 

Natural looking gestures are basically the aim. If you are not a natural gesturer, your body will support your message. It is necessary to be aware that you are not repeating the same gesture many times. It may add emphasis the first time, but after that it will distract as much as the others mentioned earlier. Watch television journalists and sooner or later you will notice this.

You can also practice gestures. Join a public speaking club where you can practice in a supportive environment until you are comfortable, and confident that your gestures are not detracting from your message.

 

Of course, there are many books and websites with information about body language and gestures. Basically:

• Gestures above shoulder level support messages about things that are spiritual or uplifting (a church minister will raise his hands in blessing).
• Ordinary messages are supported by gestures at the middle level of your body.
• Things that are despicable or degrading or debilitating are supported by gestures below the waist.
•  

You can use your palms. Held out, palm upwards, they support supplication, requesting a response, or openness. They can be used to indicate division if held vertically with the little finger down. Using a fist is a very powerful gesture. It indicates strong power and passion, and may also be used as a threat. Be careful with that. Take care, too, with pointing with a finger. People don't respond well to accusation or to being singled out, so be sure your gesture supports your message.

 

Your clothes, too, can distract attention from your message. If you have a very bright or unusual item of clothing, if your scarf or tie flaps in a breeze, if your earrings dangle or click, or your necklace or tie pin clicks on a microphone, the audience will be distracted from your message. Again, unless your message is absolutely riveting, your clothes will become the centre of attention just as gestures can, and your message will lose its impact.

 

How you stand and walk works in just the same way. If you are a passionate speaker who simply cannot stand still, then hopefully you will support the passion of your message. Try to use standing still to give the same sort of impact that a pause in the middle of rapid speech would give. If you choose to move or change position just to provide relief because you think your speech is boring; be careful. It may be that your movement will have more impact than your massage. Timing can help so that you change position with a new idea or with a new visual support. Try to make all of your body language work with the movement. So, for example, if you want to walk to give the impression of thinking of a new idea, then set your hand up to your face to indicate thoughtfulness, and speak slowly or stop speaking altogether.

 

Facial expression, too, must be in harmony with your message, or it will work against it, just as your body language does.

 

Everything - body language, image and message must work together to create the impact you have chosen.

Click Here to find out more on body language

 

Power Question:

OK, I have gotten an equal amount of positive and negative feedback about ending with power questions, so my question to you now is, should I keep adding them in at the end of posts, or would you prefer a Power Quote? Or nothing at all? Let me know your feedback.