From Passive Income to Financial Independence

<p class="MsoNormal">Growing your passive income online to eventually achieve
financial independence requires some extra work. Here are some tips to do
exactly that – fire up your passive income!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;<o:p>
</o:p>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;
</span>Be genuine in sharing<o:p>
</o:p>
</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">First rule in growing your passive income is you must
demonstrate genuine interest and be genuine in sharing. Your potential clients
can feel it from the content of your website. Be honest about your products.
Generally people will not mind if you are recommending something useful however,
you can turn people off easily if people realise what you recommend is actually
of less value than you claim.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;<o:p>
</o:p>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">2. Use social
network <o:p>
</o:p>
</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As the popularity of the social media skyrockets, it would
make no sense if you take advantage of them to promote your products. Use social
media such as Facebook and Twitter to get in touch with your fans and potential
clients. Reply to every comment and reply every email. Engage the readers in all
conversations. Slowly, you will build a marketing army which will market your
products for you in their network.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;<o:p>
</o:p>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">3. Build a
subscriber list.<o:p>
</o:p>
</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A list of subscribers to your blog is essentially a list of
potential customers who are really interested at what you can offer them. It is
much easier to promote your products to these subscribers and get them to buy
your products rather than doing a general promotion online.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;<o:p>
</o:p>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">4. Aim to instill
value <o:p>
</o:p>
</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This is one of the most powerful strategies. If you can
deliver valuable products consistently, who would not want to own them? Put your
passion into growing your passive income and aim to educate your clients with
your products. It will keep them coming back for more.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;<o:p>
</o:p>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Good luck!</p>

How is Your Social Life?

“Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum”

~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

We are on the subject of your personal life in this short series, so let’s talk about your friends. Everyone has them and everyone needs them. Friends are a necessary social extension and they provide an outlet, a group of like-minded people who share values, though perhaps not always every opinion.

Time out with friends, whether they are old high school buddies or friends you’ve made at work, is important.

A movie, a cup of coffee, an occasional dinner, perhaps even sharing an activity you both like, such as bowling, golf, baseball, slot machines, a book club, or going to the movies, the theater or the ballet.

All of the techniques we discussed for your family life can also be applied to your friends.

Above all, keep in touch. Schedule events and get-togethers with a realistic eye to what you can achieve.

Many people work long hours, have demanding jobs and still manage to participate in monthly groups, or scheduled activities. And, this is a welcome relief from their grueling work schedule.

Put the appointments on your calendar just as you would any business meeting, and be dutiful about keeping the appointment even if it seems a guilty pleasure during that critical crunch season at work.

If you must cancel, communicate clearly with your friend(s) and let them know why you have to reschedule.

DO reschedule.

Don’t leave it to chance or you will never get together.

When you go out with friends, even if they are co-workers, use your newly learned skills in self-discipline to keep you out of the realm of work discussion.

Don’t talk shop, or you will not get away from the stress you tried to leave behind at the office. It is a hard habit to break, and it may take some time and focus to learn the new habit.

You can make it fun by agreeing that the person who breaks the ‘don’t talk shop’ code first will have to buy a round of drinks or coffee, or has to pay for dinner.

You’d be amazed at how quickly your co-workers will learn the lesson!

If you have a friend, or a group of old college chums with whom you love to socialize, try to pick a monthly or weekly date – the second Tuesday of every month, for example – and get together then.

Everyone will look forward to these occasions and you won’t feel so deprived of social contact.

During times of high stress and long hours, take the time to go out for a walk or get a cup of coffee or have lunch with someone outside the office.

Get away from the people you see in the halls every day and get a breath of fresh air.

You’ll feel much better.

Don’t give up the activities and friends you love. Exercise and socialization are key to balancing your life and even though you may feel they can be postponed until a time when your career is not on high speed, your health will benefit from the short breaks and scheduled visits you insist on taking.

We’ll talk more about stress and exercise later, and how these figure into life balance. Right now, let’s focus on your friends.

If your friends have fallen by the wayside with the advent of your most recent and most hectic job, you need to get some more friends fast.

Man does not live by work alone!

And though your family is very important to you, your friends serve a different purpose.

They are often more honest with you than your family can be and they will forgive and forget without the same intimate emotional attachment of a spouse, a mother or a brother.

You can count on them to make you laugh and to share your successes and failures. They are part of your psychological armor and a necessary part of your life’s balance.

If you need to reconnect with friendship, you can often find someone with whom you share common values at work, or in an industry association or club.

Or you may find a friend that shares a passion for a sport or an activity while attending a sporting event or on line at the movie theater.

Seek out friends actively and don’t be afraid to invite your new friend for a drink or coffee. There is no harm done if the friendship does not blossom.

Friends make you more interesting and expand your horizons.

And, they keep you from becoming a boring, ‘all work and no play’ kind of person.

Again, you have to be disciplined, have a plan and pay attention, to take advantage of these opportunities.

“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow”

~ Don Herold

Setting Expectations

Up until now, we have only touched on expectations, but they are perhaps the most important part of your balancing plan. Expectations come into play in several ways.

First, there are YOUR expectations.

What is it that you expect to get from a more balanced life? More free time? A closer relationship with your spouse? The time to pursue an advanced degree?

Maybe, you want to learn to ride a horse? Any or all of these things are fine goals, but your expectation to achieve balance must take into consideration that some of these goals will take MORE time away from your family.

So, the first thing you have to do is to get it straight in your own mind. What is ‘balance’ for you?

Is it more time for yourself? More time for your family? Don’t make a promise to get more work/life balance and then squander that balance with poor planning.

What do you expect to achieve? How will this balance change your life?

Are you expectations realistic for the planned timeframe and actions you want to take or are you dreams too large?

Once you have your own expectations under control, you’ll need to look to your employer and your family and friends to be sure that you understand and can meet their expectations.

It is all well and good that you expect to regain some balance in your life but if your employer still thinks you should work eighty hours per week, you aren’t likely to get far.

Put it on paper. Then talk to the people most important to you and those whose support is crucial – like your boss – to find out what THEY expect. Then compare notes and figure out if everything is aligned.

If it isn’t, you’ll have to adjust the plan. Once you get the plan right, you can move forward more quickly and with more success.

Setting Goals

“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you” ~ Carl Sandburg ~

Now, let’s talk about Goals. Like any other important life decision, you have to have goals or you are shooting in the dark.

To set Goals for your work/life balance, you have to take your expectations and translate them into the ‘what’ of what you want to achieve and the ‘when’. Be as specific as possible.

For example, if you are going to look for a new, less demanding job, your goals might include the industry you want to work in, the type of job you want to get and how much money you want to make, as well as when you want to get the job.

Here are some examples to get you started:

“My goal is to get a job with one of the Top Ten banks in the U.S., as a Bank Manager, by May of 2006”

“Reduce the number of hours I work by 10 hours per week in time for John’s 2006 Little League Season”

“Visit my mother every Sunday for at least three hours”

“Train 2-3 people on my staff to take over the bookkeeping process by January of next year”

“Schedule and keep a weekly date with Mary for dinner and a movie”

Simple, right?

Remember, the best way to set goals is to word them simply but specifically!

That way you can measure your success without trying to guess whether you succeeded.

The next task at hand is to figure out HOW to achieve your goals.

Remember that your expectations and goals must be realistic or you will never get to where you want to be!

 

Now it is time to figure out just how realistic your expectations and goals are, because you have to establish a plan to achieve those goals!

Let’s take the first example and see what we can do with that one.

“My goal is to get a job with one of the Top Ten banks in the U.S., as a Bank Manager, by May of 2006”

To establish a workable plan for this goal you would need to consider the following questions.

            􀂾 What are the top 10 banks in the U.S.?

            􀂾 How do you find out what jobs are available at each bank?

            􀂾 Are you qualified for the Bank Manager jobs in these banks?

            􀂾 Will these job openings require you to move your family to another location?

            􀂾 Are there job placement agencies you can use to find these jobs and arrange for interviews?

            􀂾 Do you have an up-to-date resume?

            􀂾 Do you have the appropriate wardrobe for this job?

            􀂾 Do you have good references?

            􀂾 Do your family and/or spouse support this decision?

            􀂾 Is it realistic to expect that you can research, find and get this job by May, 2006?

 

You can probably think of more questions you’ll have to answer!

But, this list will give you some idea of the considerations involved in just one goal.

For every goal you set, you will have to think about how reasonable the goal is, how achievable it is and exactly how you plan to accomplish it in the timeframe you have set for yourself.

When it comes to the goals of your family and friends, the emotional attachment and desire to do the right thing may make it hard to think clearly and to accurately plan for how and when these things will happen.

Be honest with yourself and with each other and by all means include your support network in the plan.

Ask your family to come up with ideas about how you can accomplish these things. Brainstorm and leave the door open for crazy ideas.

You’d be surprised at what you might uncover in this way.

Then sit down and pick through the plan and decide which ideas will work and which must be discarded.

As you start to execute your plan, be sure you review it occasionally to ensure that you are still on target and decide if you have to change anything.

Life happens!

And, you may have to change some of your timetables and tasks to incorporate the unexpected changes in your life.

For example, you may plan to take a job that pays less and gives you more time at home to help care for an aging parent.

But, if that parent requires some sort of catastrophic care or expensive medical treatment, you may have to keep the higher paying job to earn the money you need.

If so, are there community support services and low-cost, high-quality caregivers that can come in an work a few hours every day so you can continue to work the longer hours at work to pay for the care?

If not, do you have family members or friends that can pitch in for a little while until you figure out what to do next?

Does the parent have a home that can be sold to help pay for the extra healthcare costs?

Remember, there is always more than one way to solve a problem. Don’t panic and don’t give up on your work/life balance goals.

Just find another way to accomplish them and be realistic about whether you can achieve them in the same time period.

Perhaps you need to extend your timetable a bit to accommodate the new developments in your life.

That doesn’t mean you won’t get there.

Just knowing you have a contingency plan will keep you afloat and moving forward.

Remember! PLAN is not just another four-letter word!

 

How To Defeat Procrastination part 2

Underlying Causes Of Procrastination

Going back to the definition of procrastination that I gave in the previous post, "putting off things needing to be done in a specific period of time or avoiding things resulting to delayed accomplishments of tasks"... Now the question is what leads

procrastinators to avoid doing something they are supposed to do? The answer boils down to two things that I touched on in the last post and that is fear and desire.

Fear and desire are the 2 main factors involved in both action and inaction. Desire can be best explained as the source of motivation to move forward. Without desire, people do not have the driving force to take action. On the other hand, fear is like the darkness that prevents you from moving forward.

More often than not, if fear is more dominant than desire, procrastination occurs. But if desire is more dominant than fear, action happens.

If people suffer from fear and along with it they lack desire in doing something, the end result is that procrastination is going to happen and, time after time, will eventually take over their life – affecting everything they do throughout the day.

Lack of desire

One of the most powerful factors that cause procrastination is lack of desire. More often than not, procrastination happens to people because they lack desire in what they do. People are more likely to procrastinate if they don't love what they are doing or they are less interested in doing that particular action over something else.

One of the biggest things that I dislike is calling and emailing people, especially when it is to discuss money, so I, in the past, would wait until the last minute to do it. This led to me getting paid later than I wanted, which led to me not having enough funds to pay suppliers, etc. I didn't do this, or not do this as the case may be, out of fear, but I didn't like it, so I ended up filling my time with other things that I enjoyed doing more, such as writing blog posts.

Fear

Another factor that causes procrastination is fear. Even though you have the desire to do what you are supposed to do, if fear is stronger than that desire, it is more likely that you will procrastinate. This can be any fear. It may be a fear that has something to do with uncertainty, pain, hardship, failure, rejection, disappointment or any other similar thing or it could be due to a deep seeded phobia such as not cleaning the attic out of fear there might be spiders.

Perfectionist use procrastination as a resulting behavior because they fear doing something that will be less than perfect than what they envisioned. This, in turn, affects how they will perform in order to complete the task. Nevertheless, this leads them to procrastinate.

No matter how much you procrastinate, be aware that procrastination could turn into a big problem sooner or later and before you even realize it, it is already affecting your life negatively, whether it is your procrastination or someone else's.

So, with this, here are some main reasons why you should act immediately and defeat procrastination all at once.

Reasons Why Procrastination Must be Stopped

If you will not act now to stop procrastinating, it will lead to suffering a number of big problems not only in your work, but more importantly, in your life.

· Procrastination can lead to low quality of life.

· Procrastination can lead to trouble at work.

· Procrastination can lead to less productivity at home, work and life in general.

· Procrastination can lead to frustration and depression due to the things that you didn’t accomplished.

· Procrastination can lead to failure, especially when it comes to achieving your personal goals.

· Procrastination can lead to missed opportunities in work and in life. <---big one

· Procrastination can lead to serious disappointment once you failed to satisfy your own expectations and others’ expectations as well.

There are more, but these are the things that you are likely to experience when you don't get rid of this anchor in your life.

Although this may seem depressing, don't worry because it's absolutely possible for you to change old habits. As long as you will start now, you can stop it from affecting and controlling your life, you can overcome it.

The first thing that needs to happen is to declare that you are not going to let procrastination control you and this sets us up for the next post. See you then, and until next time, here's to your success.

For even more help Click Here!

I Learned Everything I Needed To Know About Business From Childbirth

 

Are you a Mom in business? Then you already know the secret of success.

 

What is it?

 

I have found, from my daughter’s birth, that everything you need to know about succeeding in business you learned from giving birth. No, really! From my wife’s cravings on up to the big day, there are principles that you learn along the way that coincide with business.

 

Principle #1: It’s going to be more work than you think.

 

I know you read about people who have an idea that "accidentally" makes them a million, much like your neighbor's cousin twice removed who had a 2-hour painless labor.

 

Don't count on it!

 

Your business is probably going to be more work than you thought at first. For example, whatever business you are going in to, you are going in to marketing, and you'll have to discipline yourself to do those things even when you don't feel like it. And there's a reason they call it "labor" also.

 

Principle #2:  It’s going to take longer than you think.

 

Yes, that's right. It's unlikely you'll be an overnight success. It will likely take you a couple of years as well as reinvesting in your knowledge and in your business before you realize your income goals. But that's ok because...

 

Principle #3:  It’s a lot of work up front but the prize is at the end.

 

And the prize is so worth it, isn't it? In fact when you get there you may have so much fun that you immediately begin planning another! Well, I actually told people who asked that I was holding out for a puppy, but the birth of my daughter was one of the greatest things, to date, that I have ever experienced and wouldn’t change a thing…well, next time I may have someone else in there holding her hand during the contractions.

 

In business, there is a lot of work up front, but once that baby is going, if you have the right strategies in place, it starts taking care of itself more and more as it grows, leaving you to enjoy it even more. If you aren’t and still feel like you are in the rat race, then you may re-evaluate your strategies, but more on that in a later post.

 

Principle #4:  You're going to look dumb sometimes.

 

That's right. Ever looked at photos taken right after giving birth? I don’t know who looked worse for wear, my wife or me.  Oh, and then there was me taking my daughter out of the room so my wife could get some sleep, only to set off an alarm in the hospital for taking the baby out of the women’s ward and me hanging half way out of the car in the hospital parking lot trying to get that stupid car seat properly attached…the list goes on.

 

You're going to make mistakes in your business. Get over it! You have a job to do. You don't have to look and sound perfect all the time. This is also a good reason to keep a list of goals, because, trust me, they will change like dirty diapers in the beginning.

 

Principle #5:  Be sure to surround yourself with people who have done it before.

 

Even with the help of the hospital, I was a nervous wreck so I can honestly not see how anyone could do it unassisted and I don't believe in going it alone with your business either.

 

Find a mentor. Go upline, downline, online, but find someone who is doing what it is you want to do and get his or her assistance. Subscribe to their e-zine or newsletter, find out if they do mentoring, study their techniques, etc.

 

Principle #6:  Tell anyone who has something negative to say or a bad attitude to go away.

 

You don't need anyone with bad energy present at your birth. They'll slow you down and stop the communication you have with your own wisdom. In fact, this is why most hospitals don’t allow more than one other person in the room while the delivery is taking place. Similarly, don't listen to people who discourage you with your business goals!

 

Principle #7:  Just when you think you can't go on….the worst part is over.

 

Have you ever thought about giving up in your business? It just seems like too much work, you're tired and want to go home right now!? (My wife had been induced and decided that she changed her mind after about 45 minutes) You're in an important transition. Keep your eyes on the end prize.

 

If you hang in there a little longer, take it one contraction…er, day at a time, you'll get the prize, and it will be so much more than you ever dreamed. My daughter has been and so has my business.

Leadership Just by Being You

 

Leadership is all about being you and demonstrating personal authenticity rather than learning some formula from a textbook.  Aspiring leaders therefore need to be true to themselves; not slavishly following other’s ideas. Role models can be powerful and it doesn't hurt to model excellence when found; executive coaching is based on this premise.

 

Real leaders are prepared to reveal their weakness, because they know they are not super-human.  Obviously this doesn’t mean technical weaknesses or functional failings; this would fatally flaw their performance.  Instead, what is meant is that leaders should reveal their personality quirks – maybe they are bad tempered in the morning, are somewhat shy with new people or a little disorganized. Such admissions show they are human and this resonates with others confirming that the leader is a person – not merely a role-holder.

 

Revealing their true selves, leaders can allow others to know and help them and this makes for better teamwork; followers can also feel better if they’ve got something to complain about. Thus by sharing at least some of their weaknesses, leaders can prevent others from inventing damaging problems.

True leadership is therefore much more than a demonstration of strengths. Real leaders acknowledge their shortcomings and may even make them work for them.

 

Good leaders always rely on their ability to read situations. They develop a ‘feel’ for an environment, and interpret soft data without having to be told. They know when team morale is patchy or when complacency needs shaking up. There are three levels of situational sensitivity, each of which has its own specific skills.

 

Effective leaders are continually learning about the motives, attributes and skills of their important subordinates. They get to know their people through formal and, often better, informal contact such as when travelling together.

 

Effective leaders read their teams. They analyze the compound balance between team members, the tension between the tasks and processes, and how the team builds its competencies.

 

Finally, they are concerned with defining the cultural characteristics of their organizations and keep their finger on the pulse of the organization’s climate.

 

It sounds tongue-in-cheek to say that leaders care for their people. Ever noticed the cynicism in the workforce upon seeing a manager return from a people-skills training course with new concern for others. Effective leaders don’t need a training programme to convince their employees that they really care. They clearly empathize with their people and care intensely about their work.

 

Genuine concern is difficult because it always involves some personal risk – showing some part of yourself and your most strongly held values can seem quite scary. It may also take some detachment – the ability to stand back, see the whole picture and sometimes take tough decisions. Leadership never was a popularity contest

 

Effective leaders use their differences and move on to distinguish themselves through personal qualities such as sincerity, loyalty, creativity, or sheer expertise.

 

Using these differences is a critical leadership skill. But, as always, there is a danger - too much distance makes it impossible to sense situations properly or to communicate effectively.

You Are NOT Alone!

“The be-all and end-all of life should not be to get rich, but to enrich the world”

                                                                                           ~ B.C. Forbes

 

While every generation of workers has a different set of work expectations, the desire for work/life balance has become one of the foremost goals of every generation in the workforce today.

A recent study done by the Families and Work Institute illustrates that young workers just starting out in the workforce are choosing to turn down promotional opportunities to achieve greater work/life balance. In other words, the generation known as the Millennial Generation is looking for more than a gold watch at their retirement.

Why do you suppose these apple-cheeked, enthusiastic job entrants might take this approach? In a study done with young employees by Families and Workplace, work/life balance was among the top for both genders.

Most of these young adults were raised in families where both parents worked and they experienced the sacrifice and demands placed upon their parents, firsthand.

Not surprisingly, of all the generations in the workforce today, these young adults are the most likely to consider job flexibility and schedules when they look for a job, and it is key to employee retention for companies that employ these young workforce.

The point of all of this background information is to let you know that you are not alone in your desire to find balance.

All generations in all types of jobs are today, looking for balance, less stress, and more time with family and friends. Like you, these people are willing to give it their all when they are at work and they expect to work hard, but in exchange, they want a life.

 

In essence, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

 

If you think that work and family life balance is a small problem, you may be interested to know that, in addition to the few companies that have recognized the issue and taken the lead in establishing life balance programs, there are numerous organizations,

Organizations as diverse as religious groups, government agencies, human resource companies and behavioral scientists now study these issues and, not just because it is the right thing to do.

There are real economic advantages to companies that recognize the need for life balance and create a working environment to help their employees live their lives more fully.

Companies spend a lot of money training and keeping employees and happy employees will stay longer, live longer and contribute to the company longer.

But, we are just scratching the surface in understanding the true human toll that an unbalanced life takes. Many have studied the evolving societal issues and their roots in overwork and lost community connections.

If you WANT more balance in your life but you wonder whether it is all that important, let’s talk about the reasons you NEED this balance.

 

Health – Living an unbalanced life where work dominates can significantly affect your health. Long or stressful work hours can cause problems with your heart, your blood pressure, and your sleep cycles.

Studies show a significant increase in heart attack and stroke since the advent of seventy-hour workweeks. Long hours at work and lots of work related travel also encourages poor diet and leaves little time for exercise.

As we become more out of shape, sleep less and experience health problems, we are no longer the powerful asset to our employers, nor can we participate fully in a family and social life.

 

Emotional Wellness – Your ability to give back to your family, friends and community, and your own emotional stability depends on a balanced life.

As overly dramatic as it sounds, you are likely to experience emotional problems, need counseling and suffer from anxiety attacks or other problems if you have no time to decompress and relax.

 

And these benefits are both physical and emotional.

 

You can’t be ready to take on the issues in your family, support your spouse, parents, siblings and children and your friends if you have no emotional stamina.

If you’ve spent all of your focus and attention on work and you find yourself so tired at the end of the day that you don’t even want to talk to your family, you have a problem. And your family may not wait around for you to resolve it!

The societal impact of ‘all work and no play’ has damaged and destroyed many a family and the divorce rate continues to climb. Children grow up barely knowing their parents because they are away at work all the time.

Family vacations are a thing of the past in many families. Vacations get postponed and many employees find themselves losing their accrued vacation time because they have ‘rolled it over’ for so many years and just NOT taken the vacation they deserved.

Your emotional reserves are depleted. You have no patience with yourself or others. You are short on sleep and even on time to think about what you want for dinner.

 

Is it any wonder that psychologists and psychiatrists are busier than ever?

 

Stress – In my previous series I discussed some of  the health implications related to ‘all work and no play’ but stress is its own health factor.

Even if you like your job, if you have no time for anything else, stress will get you eventually.

We’ll talk more about stress later and you’ll get some tips on how to eliminate or mitigate stress so that your body and mind will be better able to handle whatever comes your way.

For now, what you need to understand is that stress can affect your physical and emotional health and that, over time, it can make you very sick. If you are not in a position to change jobs or otherwise make a major change to relieve stress, learn how to handle it better.

We’re not talking about taking five years of classes here. We are talking about simple techniques you can use to help balance your life.

Remember that work/life balance is not just a question of the hours you spend in one place or another. It is also a question of how balanced you feel and how you react to things.

No matter how much time you have with your family and friends, you will enjoy it more if you are able to balance YOURSELF.

If you can become less of a victim of stress and overwork and take control of your own reaction to stress, you will live longer and be happier at work and at home.

Family and Community – Government and university studies support the idea that the ‘all work and no play’ lifestyle contributes to divorce, dysfunction in the family, and lack of involvement and investment in the community and neighborhood.

As the community grows apart and neighbors become strangers, emotional and family support for things like childcare, help with aging parents and support following trauma and tragedy become real issues.

The community turns to the government to supply services to fill this gap, taxes rise and people remain strangers.

Families struggle with alternating schedules, and children fail to thrive emotionally and physically.

Divorce is rampant and single parents are under even more stress with even less time to pay attention to children. So, things deteriorate even more!

Role models for marriage, relationships and juggling time and family are important to a child’s adult relationships. If we do not provide those positive role models, we perpetuate the problem.

It is interesting to note that the generation of children now in the work force has started to rebel against jobs and employers that require ridiculous hours and dedication beyond the call of duty.

They understand the toll this type of career takes on a life. They grew up in families that suffered this impact.

Perhaps our greatest hope for change lies in this generation of seasoned veterans of dysfunctional families.

Productivity – If your employer believes that your eighty-hour workweek is giving him more benefit, he should look at the statistics and information gathered by human resource companies and companies that focus on efficiency and productivity.

It is a fact that the human brain needs downtime and rest and recreation to recycle. Think about your own life and the times when you had to work long hours to get something finished.

Perhaps you found that you could barely focus after a certain number of hours. There is a reason that coaches that teach good study habits tell students not to cram for

eighteen hours before an exam, but rather to spread out the studying and mix in recreation.

Take a walk; talk with friends to regain your clarity and focus.

If you and your employer truly want to take the best advantage of your time, you need to take time for yourself.

You will spend less time reworking things you’ve done wrong, mistakes you’ve made and details you’ve missed. And your employer will get better quality and output regardless of your job.

Pilots are subject to time constraints and can only spend so many hours in the air because airlines learned a long time ago that a tired and overworked pilot could make critical errors.

In lengthy neurosurgery or heart surgery, surgeons take breaks and leave the operating room to clear their heads and rest.

Again, these habits and techniques were learned the hard way and only when critical mistakes were made did these work policies change. You wouldn’t want a tired doctor working on your open heart, would you?

Life Goals – Everyone has goals. And you are probably no exceptions. You may have work and career-related goals like promotions, expanded responsibilities, and recognition as an expert in your industry.

These are all fine, but be sure you don’t just focus on your job. Many people come to identify their success in life by their position in their job and the recognition they get there.

If they become disabled or sick, or if they retire, they suddenly find that they don’t know themselves anymore.

They have no identity at work so they don’t know who they are. They may have lost family and friends or have become strangers to these people, unaware of the important events that happened at home while they were at work.

So, they have to get to know themselves and their loved ones all over again. For some, this is an impossible task.

Be sure you set personal goals, family goals and general goals in your life for growth and happiness.

If you can become less of a victim of stress and overwork and take control of your own reaction to stress, you will live longer and be happier at work and at home.

Family and Community – Government and university studies support the idea that the ‘all work and no play’ lifestyle contributes to divorce, dysfunction in the family, and lack of involvement and investment in the community and neighborhood.

As the community grows apart and neighbors become strangers, emotional and family support for things like childcare, help with aging parents and support following trauma and tragedy become real issues.

The community turns to the government to supply services to fill this gap, taxes rise and people remain strangers.

Families struggle with alternating schedules, and children fail to thrive emotionally and physically.

Divorce is rampant and single parents are under even more stress with even less time to pay attention to children. So, things deteriorate even more!

Role models for marriage, relationships and juggling time and family are important to a child’s adult relationships. If we do not provide those positive role models, we perpetuate the problem.

It is interesting to note that the generation of children now in the work force has started to rebel against jobs and employers that require ridiculous hours and dedication beyond the call of duty.

They understand the toll this type of career takes on a life. They grew up in families that suffered this impact.

Perhaps our greatest hope for change lies in this generation of seasoned veterans of dysfunctional families.

Productivity – If your employer believes that your eighty-hour workweek is giving him more benefit, he should look at the statistics and information gathered by human resource companies and companies that focus on efficiency and productivity.

It is a fact that the human brain needs downtime and rest and recreation to recycle. Think about your own life and the times when you had to work long hours to get something finished.

Perhaps you found that you could barely focus after a certain number of hours. There is a reason that coaches that teach good study habits tell students not to cram for eighteen hours before an exam, but rather to spread out the studying and mix in recreation.

Take a walk; talk with friends to regain your clarity and focus.

If you and your employer truly want to take the best advantage of your time, you need to take time for yourself.

You will spend less time reworking things you’ve done wrong, mistakes you’ve made and details you’ve missed. And your employer will get better quality and output regardless of your job.

Pilots are subject to time constraints and can only spend so many hours in the air because airlines learned a long time ago that a tired and overworked pilot could make critical errors.

In lengthy neurosurgery or heart surgery, surgeons take breaks and leave the operating room to clear their heads and rest.

Again, these habits and techniques were learned the hard way and only when critical mistakes were made did these work policies change. You wouldn’t want a tired doctor working on your open heart, would you?

Life Goals – Everyone has goals. And you are probably no exceptions. You may have work and career-related goals like promotions, expanded responsibilities, and recognition as an expert in your industry.

These are all fine, but be sure you don’t just focus on your job. Many people come to identify their success in life by their position in their job and the recognition they get there.

If they become disabled or sick, or if they retire, they suddenly find that they don’t know themselves anymore.

They have no identity at work so they don’t know who they are. They may have lost family and friends or have become strangers to these people, unaware of the important events that happened at home while they were at work.

So, they have to get to know themselves and their loved ones all over again. For some, this is an impossible task.

Be sure you set personal goals, family goals and general goals in your life for growth and happiness.

What is Stress and How Do You Manage It?

 

We all face Stress problems in our lives. But, how do we manage stress and lead a happy life? Recent research reveals that the body has the capability of affecting the mind. Simple things like the way you carry yourself, the way you walk, the way you talk, and the way you project yourself physically, affects your attitude and mind to a much larger extent than we previously were aware of. We have learned more about how our mind works in the last 12 years than in our entire history of neuroscience.

 

This article will, in short, discuss the positives that should be developed in order to have effective stress management.

 

For several decades now, researches all over the world have asserted that what goes on in the mind affects the body, but not until around this last decade, give or take a few years, have we found undeniable proof. Negative thoughts and a negative attitude lead to our feeling low: our heads fall, our shoulders sag, and our breathing becomes shallow. In fact it has been conclusively proven that a negative mind will trigger off a whole chain of physical reactions, which lead to us feeling the way we do.

 

On the reverse, positive thoughts and positive attitudes make us feel good: our heads are held up, we tend to look up, stand taller, breathe deeper and fuller.

 

So you see, the body is directly affected by our mental state. But, consider this: recent research reveals that we can switch the current, so to speak. The body also has the capability of affecting the mind. The way you carry yourself, the way you walk, the way you talk, and the way you project your physical self, affects your attitude and mind to a fairly large extent. If you always stand straight, with your chest held out and breathe in deeply, chances are you will begin to have a better attitude. On the other hand, if your shoulders are dropped, and you have a crouched back, you are probably going to feel depressed.

 

The interesting and potentially very powerful corollary to all of this, on the slim chance that you didn’t catch it, is that we can control our emotions though our bodily actions and postures. That means if we want to feel good or positive all we have to do is change our body posture. Though it may vary only slightly from person to person, the overall precepts for a positive frame of mind are more or less the same: Head high, Shoulders pulled back, deep breathing, chest held out, and of course the all important smile. As Tony Robbins puts it, “Motion creates Emotion”. The way we move changes, the way we think, feel and behave. The rigorous workout to upbeat music down to the slightest movement of a facial muscle has the affect of changing our emotions.

 

Even the simple act of a smile can make an enormous difference to your state of mind. Extensive research in this area proves that the act of smiling sets of a biological reaction that affects all parts of the body. It stimulates the heart and the lungs. It increases the flow of blood and oxygen to the brain. The body's excretory organs function more smoothly, thus clearing the body of harmful toxins. Imagine such a simple act as smiling to have such a far-reaching effects; in fact many doctors are of the opinion that fifteen minutes of light laughter on a daily basis, can increase your life span by about 5-10 years.

 

The point is that nothing happens by chance. We have all been created in a very scientific manner. Every gesture, every moment in the body has some purpose – some of those moments cause us to feel miserable, to doubt our abilities, and to curse our luck, while others make us feel good, optimistic and positive about life. We have the ability to choose the ones we desire.

 

 

Assertiveness Q and A

First, if you missed this series, go back and check out the other posts on this topic and the Q and A will be more pertinent to you. Just click here for the first of the series.

Here are just a few Q and A discussions on the topic of assertiveness. Again, there is no quick fix, one side fits all ability to go from being used and abused to being assertive without being pushy and obnoxious, but hopefully you see the importance of being more assertive in order to be successful and keep moving forward.

 

Q: What if I do become more assertive and I use what I have learned in my relationships, in my office work, or with friends; I even learned to say “no”. What if people get angry with me?

 

A: People who are truly your friends are not going to get mad at you. Real friends want you to learn and grow as a person. They will probably be happy for you now that you have learned to stop being a doormat. True friends want the best for you; in fact, they may have been secretly worried about you being such a pushover.

 

As for your spouse, if your partner truly loves you and wants the best for you, he/she will rejoice that you are learning to be more assertive and growing as a person. Your spouse’s own life will be enriched by your experience. You will be more self-confident and happy, thereby making both of your lives better.

 

If you apply these skills to your job, your boss and co-workers will have more respect for you. At work, it can mean getting a promotion, being assigned new and interesting challenges, or maybe even a raise. When your boss sees your capability to take control, handle crises, remain calm, and maintain poise, he will begin to see you in a completely new light.

 

Standing up for yourself makes a huge difference in the way people look at you and in how they treat you, especially at the office. It may be true that you cannot please everyone with your newly acquired skill. The ones who will not like the new you are probably the ones who used to push you around and took advantage of you at every turn. Do not worry; they will get over it.

 

Stop depriving yourself of the respect due to you. Be assertive and earn other people’s respect. Be in control of your life and feel more self-confident.

 

Your life will never be the same again.

 

Q: If others do get angry with me, how do I handle it? What if I fall apart?

 

A: If you use these new skills appropriately, things will change, situations will improve and yes, you will earn the ire of some people. As previously pointed out, those who will get angry are probably the ones who used to mistreat you.

 

However, you are improving your own life and protecting your rights. They are upset because they can no longer push you around, infringe on your personal rights, and pass on to you the jobs they do not wish to do.

 

That is why they are angry. Bear in mind that you are not responsible for their feelings. They will have to deal with their feelings. It is now their problem, not yours.

 

Q: Are my friends going to get mad when I start telling them “no” all the time?

 

A: They would be more upset to know that you have been saying “yes” to everyone, when you really mean to say “no”. Agreeing to things that you really do not want to do will make you feel resentful towards that person.

 

You hate feeling that way towards friends, right? It is almost as if you have been lying to them.

 

Being assertive and saying “no” is a more honest approach, don’t you think? Or would you rather risk destroying their love and respect just because you cannot say “no”?

 

Q: What about saying “no” at work; won’t that get me in trouble?

 

A: By agreeing to everything that everyone wants you to do at work, you will find that you simply cannot keep up with all the work. There are just so many hours in a day. If you say “yes” to everything, you are cheating yourself and the others who are depending on you to finish what you said you would do.

 

Doing shoddy work is not going to impress anyone. By taking on too much, you would not have the time to do a good job on everything. By limiting the number of jobs you accept, you are actually doing everyone a favor. If you keep the workload down, you can do a great job on your assignments. This is what will impress people. It is better to cut the workload and finish everything well, than to take on too much and finish nothing.

 

Q: What if someone asks me to do something I know I can easily accomplish and yet, I say “no”; will he think that I’m selfish or self-centered?

 

A: Just because you can do something does not mean you have to do it. You can refuse even legitimate requests assertively. Sometimes, you have to put your own needs ahead of others. You cannot please everyone all the time and you do not have to. Bitterness will grow if you let the guilt get to you and make you a ‘yes’ person all the time.

 

Q: If I’m assertive about what I know and what I can do, won’t that make me sound egocentric? Shouldn’t I be more modest?

 

A: Being assertive and let people know you are clever and skilled is not being immodest or egocentric. Sometimes you have to toot your own horn, so to speak, and there is nothing wrong with that. If you do not do it, who will?

Sometimes being modest is not a good thing. It makes you sound like you cannot say anything positive about yourself. It also indicates that you cannot give or receive compliments.

 

Q: If I toot my own horn, as you say, won’t people expect me to be great 100% of the time? What if I screw up?

 

A: Without being assertive and letting others know of your skills and accomplishments, you will miss out many opportunities. Since no one is perfect, you will make mistakes occasionally. Own up to them and learn from them, then move on.

 

Even if you mess up once in a while, you will be respected far more for giving it your best shot than by not trying at all. As Wayne Gretzky, the hockey player said, “You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

 

Q: I’m a woman and I’m not sure it’s considered feminine to be assertive all the time. Men can get away with it, but not women. Will men in my office hate me if I try to be assertive in the workplace?

 

A: It is unfortunate that assertive women often have more trouble at work than their male counterparts. However, that should not stop any woman from standing up for herself in the workplace. If you possess the skills necessary for the job and have the experience and the drive, you can assert yourself and get what you want.

 

A woman in a management position may find herself walking in a fine line. She must be assertive in order to do her job, but may be thought of as pushy or unfeminine when she does. Oddly enough, studies done on this topic showed that the criticism came mostly from other women, not the men in the workplace.

 

Someone once said that we should learn to live without the good opinions of others. If your career is important to you, you will have to learn to be assertive and be selective about considering other people’s opinions.

 

As I said in the first part of this series, assertiveness starts with being aware.

If you have read my blog for very long, you know that I am not doing this to get rich off of my readers, I want to help others succeed and do it without having to hit all of the bumps in the road that I have, so when I offer something, it is not very often and it is to help. Like with this offer; a big part of assertiveness is being able to find your voice and speak up. Click Here! for an awesome book on speaking. It is a great one to own, but if not, try to find it in your local library.

A Better You: Your 7 days program to self-improvement

I think that I’ve lost count on how many times I've read and heard of celebrity marriages failing almost left and right. Not that I care (and personally I don't), it just seems strange that we often see movie and TV stars as heroes almost, living the fairytale life of riches and glamour. I suppose we all have to stop sticking our heads in the clouds and face reality that no one is perfect and they do not deserve to be idolized anymore than you or I do when it comes down to it.

 

There are many ways to lose your sense of self-esteem despite how trivial it could get. But whatever happens, we should all try not to lose our own sense of self, especially if it means comparing ourselves to others. I mean, I have had personal issues in my own life where I was let down by someone and it was totally devastating to me because I based so much of who I was on who I thought they were. We are responsible for our own actions, not those of others who will let us down eventually.

 

So what does it take to be your own hero in business and in life? Here are some of the things that I have come up with that I think will improve who you are based on you and isn’t dependant on the actions of a hero or mentor. In order to truly be successful, you must be your own hero.

 

1. Know your purpose

Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you'll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.

 

This may seem tricky at first, especially if you find yourself in a tight spot or even a dead end. But there's always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself simply by determining what your purpose is.

 

2. Know your values

What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for 2015 - check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn't align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it because any goal counterintuitive to your values will cause you to waffle on those goals.

 

3. Know your needs

Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed over it.

 

List your top four needs and determine if they are legitimate needs that should be met or if they are counteractive to your purpose in life and need to be modified. Some have needs based on addictions, lack of education, etc. All of these needs are not real needs, but uncontrolled desires.

 

4. Know your passions

You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be.

 

Your passions are those things in your life that help drive you. If your purpose involves your passions then achieving any goal is possible.

 

5. Live from the inside out

Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regular reflection. Commune with nature, take a spa day, take an entire day to lock yourself away somewhere just you and your hobby; get away and recharge your battery.

 

For most of us city slickers it's hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. I personally love hiking old nature trails, sometimes I will take a sketch book with me and just disappear for a day, sometimes two.

 

6. Honor your strengths

What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify a few. Are you imaginative, witty, or good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.

 

7. Serve others

When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others.

 

As I often quote, Zig Ziglar said, “you will get everything in life that you want, if you just help enough people get what they want.”

 

Self-improvement is indeed worth it. It shouldn't lie within the confines of an office building or in the four corners of your own room. The real difference lies within us and is determined by how much we want to change for the better.